Word to the unwise: “Having sex at 85 miles per hour while drunk on a freeway is willful and wanton negligence.”

I’m not particularly puritanical, but I believe there’s a time and place for sex.

The bathroom at a church during a funeral, for example, probably isn’t the most appropriate place to get it on.

Likewise, fornicating on the floor of a middle school gymnasium during a school dance is seriously not cool. Not for anyone.

And I think we can all agree that if you’re the driver, the back seat of a vehicle going 85 down the Beltway is not an advisable time and place for sexual penetration.

Unfortunately, a Woodbridge man has a different set of standarts. Or at least he did in May of 2010 when he tore down the Beltway at 85 mph on his way home from his 21st birthday party. He was admittedly drunk, and according to the Washington Post, was having sex “partially or totally in the backseat of the car” upon collision.

I know that young people, actually, I take that back—all people—can be stupid and selfish when it comes to sex. The desire to get laid has a way of suffocating foresight and responsibility.

Anthony Weiner is a fresh example. Clearly, Weiner was not in his “right mind” when he chose Facebook and Twitter as formats for cyber-cheating. Educated people who have unprotected sex with multiple partners because they “hate condoms” are acting in the same vein.

But the plaintiff in this case is a special brand of stupid— stupid squared. The act of driving back from one’s own 21st birthday party is already unadvisable. Combine that with sexual irrationality—he’s lucky everyone involved is still alive.

The 28 year-old cab driver is seeking $78,000 in damages. The defendant now denies he was driving. They’ll go to trial next week.

[Washington Post via Newser]