Here’s the thing about VH1: It sucks, and this is why we watch it. No one turns to the channel for spiritual guidance; it has long been stripped of any pull in the music industry and even its reality stars have grown too big for their boozy britches — Bret Michaels has ditched the bus for the board room, and Tila Tequila made the certifiable upgrade from television to tabloid whore. It should come as a shock to no one, then, that the channel has announced a facelift, though it’s certainly sad news for late night drunk munchers the world over, dependent on a lineup of programming best — nay, exclusively — enjoyed without full brain function.

The channel has apparently created a new demographic to legitimize the transformation, though what sense of obligation is causing it to justify its behavior remains unclear; sister station MTV lost its own credibility long ago, perhaps best demonstrated the day Matt Pinfield’s “Say What?” morphed into Dave Holmes’ “Say What? Karaoke”, or maybe just when they fashioned Gideon Yago as a certifiable news source. Regardless, VH1 has gone to great lengths to establish “Gen Mix,” which shockingly enough is the cross between Gen X and the Millenials.

As it turns out, it is a group (adults 25-34) completely defined by their love of products, which is why one of the 44 new series being developed is “You’re Cut Off” (spoiled party girls get their financial plug pulled). “Behind the Music” will be sticking around, apparently fitting under the revamped station mission “music, celebrity and ‘real life stories’.” I’m glad the Gen Mix revelation has lead to such a drastic departure from the ‘celebreality’ we’ve come to love and expect from the channel. Like church and state, separation is good — just not when the heart of your network is chemically dependent d-listers. Stay trashy, VH1.