That other guy from NSYNC is having a better 4th of July than all of you!
Washed up celebrities use movie cameos, commercial appearances and voiceovers to supplement the income they once had. I’d like to believe that I’m not the kind of guy who would find pleasure in watching actors like Luke Wilson resign to hawking cell phones for AT&T, but I’m not.
This week in “washed up famous people selling out for quick cash,” Joey Fatone, the fat one from ‘NSYNC fame, is helping pimp out fireworks to pyromaniacs across the country. This is what happens when boy bands are put out to pasture.
Unlike the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block, who are touring with ferocity and on top of their game, ‘NSYNC has been in a holding pattern since Justin Timberlake stopped dying his hair, leaving the less talented other dudes to scramble for work to support the lavish lifestyle their significant others married them for.
JC Chasez is working as a judge of dance routines in between appearances on the Peabody Award-winning television show, Las Vegas. Lance Bass has somehow made a career out of being an openly gay public figure. And Chris Kirkpatrick is clogging Justin’s answering machine begging to get the band back together.
But Fatone always seemed to be the guy who had his shit together. He was featured in a memorable episode of MTV Cribs, and finished second on Dancing with the Stars. Fatone was easily the most forgettable member of NSYNC, like the band’s oft-forgotten middle child. Kirkpatrick was the pathetic one, Timberlake and Chasez were the hot ones and Bass was the gay one. Fatone was, well, the fat one.
Now he is the face of Phantom Fireworks, the largest firework provider in the country. They’re so big that they even own the fireworks.com domain name. So we know Fatone is swimming in the dough. It’s nice to see he’s still alive.
Like all good things, this commercial was found by my girlfriend while watching Bravo — at 1 a.m. — on a Wednesday.
Happy 4th of July everyone.