Justin Bieber Eats It

Goddamn it. I swore I would never post about Justin Bieber. The level of adoration tween girls have for this kid is nothing short of disturbing. When everyone else was “aw-ing” over that video of the three-year-old crying simply because she loves Justin Bieber, I kind of wanted to vomit. Do none of these girls realize he looks like a chick and speaks like a total douche? Anyway, today marks the day when I put my foot in my mouth, but it’s all for a good cause, because the video after the jump is just great. I’d go so far as to say it was the perfect accompaniment to my morning coffee. First, you see Bieber pushing a revolving glass door like a spaz, and just when you think the video’s going to be pointless, BAM, he walks head first into the glass door. (I suggest raising the volume. You can actually hear the collision.) To top it all off, Mr. Bieber thinks it necessary to give a play-by-play to the paparazzo filming him, and manages to sound even more douchey than usual, suggesting that the head bump obliterated whatever brain cells he had left. “Yo! Whaddup?! I just walked into that door!” Yeah? I thought you had just walked into some invisible force-field. Oh, that was a glass door? Got it.

The only thing better than the video is Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. Click the link and scroll down to see which indie-rock duo made the list.