Don’t worry, odds are you’ll get used to it in about two or three months.
America’s biggest love/ hate relationship is with the world’s most addicting website — Facebook. We can hardly resist reading the constant and mostly pointless updates in our “friends’” lives. “Todd is taking the dog for a walk.” “Zooey is watering the Azaleas.” “Ralph just went for a jog and boy are his nipples sore.” “Ashley is constipated.” Everyone tries to stop, but these constant insights are unimaginably addictive, and pictures of strangers’ lives have never been more interesting.
However every time Facebook makes the smallest change the internet goes into full viral riot mode. After every simple or drastic adjustment everyone complains, and then everyone else complains about the people complaining. College kids bitched when Facebook opened its doors to high school students. When the news-feed was created we bitched about how easy it was to stalk people (although most were secretly happy about it). We considered status updates simply another tool to gratify our vanity. At first the consensus opinion on the “like” button was it was created by Satan himself. Now, it’s changed the way we use one of the most basic words in the English language.
Now the platform has changed again, and this week the Facebook community has ignited in collective dissonance. Unlike some minor adjustments that Zuckerberg’s team has undergone in the past, the social networking site is making some big changes.
As with most of the website’s “updates” we simply wake up one morning and they’re there waiting for us to complain about. Our main news-feed is now more cluttered, confusing and schizophrenic than ever. We now have to categorize people into friends or acquaintances. The people we know are also categorized into alternate dimension news-feeds that separate our co-workers from college and high school friends. However the most popular complaint is the new ticker in the upper right corner that tells you everything that any of your friends do on Facebook. It they “like” a status or picture, you’ll know about it. If you become “friends” with someone, everyone knows about it.
If you’re angry about the hyper-personal “over-sharing” that Facebook is implementing, get ready to be more upset. Soon everyone will know what music you’re listening to, articles you’re reading and videos you’re watching.
Ji Lee, the creative director whom Facebook stole away from Google in April, sent out the following tweet earlier:
The “Listen with your friend” feature in ticker is blowing my mind. Listen to what your friends are listening. LIVE.”
Within minutes, Lee deleted the tweet, but not before Mitchell Holder grabbed a screenshot. Yes, Lee is describing a key feature of Facebook Music, launching tomorrow. Not only will all music you’re listening to appear in the just-launched right-side ticker, there will be a link to “Listen with your friend” that, when clicked, will allow you to listen along to the same song at the same time (thanks to the magic of scrobbling and track matching).
Facebook’s F8 convention is going on as we speak, where Zuckerberg is unveiling more updates that are sure to piss off the average Facebook user. Gawker is now reporting a new feature called “Timeline,” and it’s exactly as terrifying as it sounds. It’ll be a one page history of your Facebook life with easy access to former wall posts and drunken statuses.
It’ll be curious to see whether the social networking giant sees any exodus because of these massive changes to the site. Sharing your personal life is one of the most attractive aspects of Facebook, but it’s reaching the point where our personal lives are nearly nonexistent.
If I’m listening to the Aladdin soundtrack, I’m not sure I want the world to know. Soon I won’t have a choice. I guess I’ll just have to get used to this floor-to-ceiling window into my life. So, full disclosure — I’m currently listening to New Edition’s comeback album “Home Again.”
