Spain Financial Crisis

5 More Countries Where Goldman Sachs Could Launch Coups d’Etats

Nov 18, 2011

A former Goldman Sachs international adviser is set to become Italy’s PM and Greece’s incoming PM has connections to the vampire squid, too. We present five other countries where Goldman Sachs could install bankers as heads of state.

spain parliament 5 More Countries Where Goldman Sachs Could Launch Coups dEtats

Goldman Sachs men are now installed as Prime Ministers in Greece (Lucas Papademos) and Italy (Mario Monti), with various others strategically placed around Europe. Why stop here, though? Why not extend thy reach, Goldman Sachs?

Where to begin, though? Originally, I considered Ireland to be a prime candidate for some Goldman Sachs coup d’etat action, but it seems that Ireland already got the old Goldman Sachs in/out in the form of Peter Sutherland, a non-executive director of Goldman Sachs, as well as a non-executive at BP.

One doesn’t have to direct one’s gaze far to spot a Goldman Sachs boy violating the sovereignty of a nation. Their cause is helped by having a former managing director of Goldman Sachs International, Mario Draghi, installed as new head of the European Central Bank.

Here are five countries that could use a little Goldman Sachs in/out.

Spain

With concerns in Italy lessening amidst the installation of ex-Goldman man Mario Monti as PM, bankers and investors in the eurozone and abroad are looking to Spain, which the BBC is calling the “weaker link in the eurozone chain.”

This is obviously the first country that requires a Goldman Sachs premiership. Get on it boys.

Portugal

Portugal was one of the first wheels that flew off the economic bus and their troubles have been obscured by the insanity in Greece, Italy and nearly everywhere else in the world.

The Portuguese are taking a pro-active approach to avoid further financial market mayhem, but this might not be enough. After all, no one but technocrats (code for former bankers and economists—i.e., flim flam men) are qualified to fix the world economic crisis.

Goldman Sachs would do well to negotiate a PM post in Portugal. Its small geographic area and modesty on the world stage would make for a great banking coup d’etat.

Iceland

Reykjavik’s mayor is an Anarcho-Surrealist and former musician/comedian named Jón Gnarr, but this should be of little concern to Goldman Sachs—Iceland needs economic movement. And who are you going to trust: a man quite open about his absurdity or, like something straight out of Lewis Carroll’s “Through the Looking Glass,” a pack of bankers who break economies then offer to put them back together for a piece of the action?

Of course, Goldman would likely have to do battle with the likes of Björk, who attempted to rally elves and other hidden peoples to combat Magma Corporation’s attempt to takeover Iceland’s public geo-thermal energy industry.

Japan

After the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear reactor disaster, Japan’s economy is in shambles. This is exactly the type of situation Goldman Sachs waits ages to exploit.

They will have to find a native Japanese ex-Goldman Sachs banker, of course, which shouldn’t be much of a problem—Goldman men are everywhere, even on Pacific islands.

Libya

Goldman Sachs is already familiar with Libya, having invested and lost several billion of the dead Moammar Gaddafi’s fortune (detailed in the Death and Taxes article “Goldman Sachs & Gaddafi: A Splendid Conspiracy“). With the rich oil production and Goldman’s love of oil speculation, this is prime territory for a Goldman Sachs premiership.

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