Not Thankful For: Adam Sandler’s ‘Thanksgiving Song’

The painful holiday song has not withstood the test of time, and as “Jack and Jill” has recently shown, neither has Sandler’s sense of humor.

There is nothing that sends the masses into a bigger tizzy than Christmas music being played before Thanksgiving. Every year you hear the complaints and read the Facebook and Twitter protests of people disgusted with our culture’s audacity to reduce the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving as foreplay for Black Friday. You’ll hear nameless strangers bitch on elevators about Bing Crosby and “Christmas Shoes’” hostile takeover of their favorite Lite FM station. Santa has probably been taking pictures at your local mall since two weeks ago. The commercialism of the holiday season can be overwhelming, obnoxious and exhausting.

Thanksgiving has been condensed into simply a day to rest and eat. It’s a timeout before the Christmas season resumes in full force, a respite before our lubed-up credit cards are used more than the town whore. It’s the day before the music starts and the same songs play on an unceasing loop till the 25th. Some days you’ll enjoy it, others you’ll want to beat the crap out of that damn little drummer boy. But the one song you’re likely to hear every hour, on the hour, will be Adam Sandler’s famous “Hanukkah Song.” The first listen might bring back some nostalgic memories, but by the fourth play while stuck in traffic on your way from Sears you’ll curse the day Sandler picked up a guitar.

While the “Hanukkah Song” is Sandler’s most popular song, it’s unfortunately not his only well-remembered and frequently replayed Saturday Night Live holiday hit. The less creative precursor to his ode to the eight crazy nights is the equally creatively named “Thanksgiving Song.” In the Sandler hit — and only Thanksgiving song I can recall aside from “Alice’s Restaurant” — he predictably sings about turkey and cranberry sauce while dropping dated cultural references like Daryl Strawberry being traded from the Mets and Mike Tyson giving a girl a VD. It introduced Sandler’s vocal “talent” to audiences across the country — something we should never be thankful for.

In a way, Sandler’s horrid “Thanksgiving Song” was foreshadow for the current stage of his career, when he stopped trying and said whatever simple uninspired fart joke came to his head. While the “Hanukkah Song” may be grating after the first 25 listens it was at one time clever and funny. In his turkeyday special, Sandler just mails it in, just like the last five years of his career. His trademarked “I’m an immature 8-year-old” delivery while singing the following verse is slightly painful.

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys,
My favorite kind of pant
Are corduroys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel

Like many kids who grew up in the 1990s, I loved Sander’s early films such as “Happy Gilmore” and “Billy Madison,” but like many people subjected to films like “Don’t Mess with the Zohan” and “Jack and Jill” it makes you wonder if they were truly funny. Was Adam Sandler ever the comedic talent that our generation has made him out to be? Was he simply nothing more than a youthful indiscretion made by millions who at the time thought that loud equals funny? Or is he like Eddie Murphy — talented with an excellent filmography but blinded by the effortless allure of large paychecks. I truly hope it’s the latter—no, I believe it’s the later—however the “Thanksgiving Song” makes me question myself.

Nevertheless be this Thanksgiving be thankful you didn’t have spend a couple hours listening to this song on repeat — I wouldn’t wish that agony on anyone — except in-laws. Am I right?!