Once again a Republican lawmaker has managed to misconstrue the duties of a benevolent woman-focused organization. Usually Planned Parenthood is the group acting as lightning rod, but lately the Girl Scouts have been under fire. Why? It’s hard to say, but it seems to fall somewhere between doing things that help girls and not hating gay or trans* people.

Indiana Representative Bob Morris (R-Fort Wayne) refused to sign a resolution that would honor the Girl Scouts of America on their 100th birthday because they’re allegedly promoting homosexuality and aligning themselves with too many feminists and commies and not enough religious groups. He sent a letter to fellow lawmakers denouncing the group.

Many parents are abandoning the Girl Scouts because they promote homosexual lifestyles. In fact, the Girl Scouts education seminar girls are directed to study the example of role models. Of the fifty role models listed, only three have a briefly-mentioned religious background – all the rest are feminists, lesbians, or Communists. World Net Daily, in a May 2009 article, states that Girl Scout Troops are no longer allowed to pray or sing traditional Christmas Carols.

Morris goes on to talk about how the group allows transgendered children who identify as female to join, and participate just like, as he says, a “real” girl. The whole letter will make you roll your eyes so hard they might stick that way.

But seriously, if what Morris says is true (and since he figured it out with an admittedly “small amount of web-based research,” you know it must be), GSA is teaching girls to be inclusive of all sexual and gender identities and showing them how to grow into self-sufficient, thinking women. I realize those things are terrifying to Republicans and conservatives, but they sound pretty good to me.

Of course, I was a Girl Scout for several years as a kid and grew up to be a pro-choice feminist who advocates for gay and trans* rights, so maybe he’s on to something. Granted, I don’t actually remember being fed an agenda, so they must be pretty sneaky. I suppose when I was decorating a little Christmas tree during arts and crafts time, I must have been using IUDs as ornaments, and that the cookies may have actually been shaped like little fetuses. That must be it. And I can only assume that the camping trips were actually training grounds for homosexuality and man-hating.

Or maybe it was just the only place I went in elementary school where other kids were nice to me and I was able to feel like an actual human being. If teaching life skills and providing solace from bullies is part of an evil plot, then pass the Thin Mints, because it sounds like a radical feminist agenda is doing a lot of good.