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Nation furious at Obama for attaching resume to job application

May 1, 2012

We are moving into what people used to call The Silly Season, because apparently there used to be other seasons.

Today’s fresh outrage is over the Obama campaign’s “I Killed Osama bin Laden” ad, with Mitt Romney calling it “disappointing,” Arianna Huffington deeming it “despicable” and unnamed Navy SEALs revealing that Obama did not actually shoot the actual gun.

Obviously, if bin Laden had been smoked between 2001-2008, George W. Bush would already be on Mt. Rushmore, full color and animatronic, saying “Lookit what I done” and showing a video of the raid on his forehead every thirty minutes while shooting red, white and blue Skittles out of his mouth.  “He started it” is an argument for children, but sometimes children have a point; we here at D&T seem to remember a flight-suited GWB, three potatoes stuffed into his jock, beaming and waving in front of a “Mission Accomplished” sign a few years back; one major difference here is that this mission has actually been accomplished.

On the bin Laden tip, NBC News has revealed that in the months before his death, Osama was planning to rename Al Qaeda after a series of flops. A rebrand, like the Oprah Winfrey Network, or MySpace! Delicious.

We’ve tried pants-shitting terror for more than a decade; have we tried simply laughing at these people? Because they seem to be pretty bad at terrorism. Sure, they get one in here and there—even the Washington Generals have to score once in a while—but overall they kind of stink at their jobs. One good belly laugh at their expense might do us all some good, especially as we dive into seven months of fear and outrage.

For the record, the ad is gross. Welcome to the Silly Season.

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