Lil Wayne and Pusha-T better step off; this summer’s hot feud is between two white men with enlarged prostates underneath ironed underwear. George Will and Donald Trump are straight beefin’, and it’s at least a tiny bit more entertaining than you would think.

The story so far: Donald Trump has been on a sweeps-month birtherism tour of cable television, while at the same time promoting a $3 raffle where the winner gets to have dinner with himself and Mitt Romney. The ever-pragmatic George Will appeared on Sunday’s This Week to zing Trump, Sam the Eagle-style:

The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious, it seems to me. Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics.

Well! Never one to dismiss a slight, Donald Trump appeared on CNBC’s Squawk Box this morning to reveal their long history, and a super-interesting explanation for why there might be bad blood between these two. Says Trump:

“Years ago, he spoke at Mar-A-Lago and he bombed, and he bombed badly.”

Leaving aside logic (a guy’s speech goes poorly, so he’d hold a grudge against the owner of the venue?), the question is: how does George Will bomb? What could a crowd that knowingly went to a George Will speaking engagement hear that would make them uncomfortable? Was he drunk? Did he beatbox?  Was his 8-minute chunk on black people in movie theaters insufficiently tight?

Whatever happened, this isn’t over by a long shot. It’s like a 1988 issue of Spy Magazine has become sentient. This is going to be a beautiful summer.