Much to the delight of Daily Show fans around the world, Jon Stewart and his crew returned from a 2-week vacation last night with First Lady Michelle Obama as a guest. In a segment before the interview, Stewart highlighted the hyperbolic rhetoric from the right wing directed at the President’s economic policies, which in their eyes are “pure, unadulterated Socialism,” as described by Republican West Virginia Senate Nominee John Raese.

They called the auto industry corporate bailout Socialist (a move which Republican Rominee agreed with, and an industry success he claims to take “a lot of credit for,”) but then figures like Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney turn around and defend the importance of government-run social programs like Social Security and Medicare, which in essence are “derived from a more Socialist ethos,” in Stewart’s words.

Indeed, collectivized farms and state-controlled industries would be a more extreme form of a Socialist state, but as Stewart points out, and Republicans vehemently defend, there are milder forms that can serve a beneficial purpose. Strands of Socialism can even be found within some of America’s most beloved industries, like — dare we say — the National Football League?

It’s no secret to those who have even a basic knowledge of the NFL that its revenue sharing policies among the 32 teams is absolutely a form of Socialism, and one “that has worked quite well for us,” says Commissioner Roger Goodell. It’s those policies that give the Bills and Browns a fighting chance, and prevent Jerry Jones from constructing an entire stadium out of money.

But isn’t that the beauty of American politics and the 24-hour news conflictinator? Simple semantics mean the difference between a successful, all-American industry and a President’s Socialist takeover of our crumbling nation. Revenue sharing? No problem. Socialized medicine? “The crown jewel of Socialism.” (Bachmann)