At last our pathetic level of discourse has reached its logical ending point. In response to a speech at the American Heritage Institute in which conservative heartthrob Jonah Goldberg said socialism is “something that conservatives have to work harder to beat out of them, either literally or figuratively,” progressive vegan (and so, so tiny) comedian Jamie Kilstein has thrown down the gauntlet.

Kilstein has challenged Goldberg to three two-minute rounds of regulation boxing for a cash prize to be donated to a charity of the winner’s choice. Now, we don’t endorse violence here at D&T, but we admire Kilstein’s pluck. And I’d say it’s a pretty even match; Goldberg has the size, but gets sweaty just talking. Kilstein weighs in at 145, but we’d bet he’s a scrapper. At the very least, Jonah Goldberg will get punched in the face at least once, which in this complicated world is something we can all support.

It will never happen, but there’s a petition at Change.org which will at least make Goldberg look like a giant wuss for declining the offer. Sign it here. (And then eat some kind of quinoa patty to restore your karmic balance.)