In a moment of pure untamed brilliance English teacher David McCullough went off on the graduating class of 2012 at Wellesley High, critiquing modern parenting techniques by saying that children are “pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble wrapped… nudged, cajoled, wheedled .. feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie.”
He has a point – it has long been argued that a lot of modern parenting focuses on the reward system that gives a child a feeling of entitlement without actually having done something. It might seem like a long shot to correlate childhood mollycoddling with obnoxious behavior later on in life but sweet tapdancing Jesus have you ever worked with a 20 year old intern who thinks the sun shines out of their own ass and that they’re going to get your job within three months? You haven’t? Try it sometime. It’ll show you an entire childhood of bad parenting in a single eye-roll when you ask them to change the paper in the printer. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Where was I? Oh yeah. David McCullough’s entire speech can be found on Boston.com, but we’ve collected a few of our favorite highlights here.
On statistics and Uggs:
Across the country no fewer than 3.2 million seniors are graduating about now from more than 37,000 high schools. That’s 37,000 valedictorians… 37,000 class presidents… 92,000 harmonizing altos… 340,000 swaggering jocks… 2,185,967 pairs of Uggs.
On being special and entitlement:
“But, Dave,” you cry, “Walt Whitman tells me I’m my own version of perfection! Epictetus tells me I have the spark of Zeus!” And I don’t disagree. So that makes 6.8 billion examples of perfection, 6.8 billion sparks of Zeus. You see, if everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless. In our unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another–which springs, I think, from our fear of our own insignificance, a subset of our dread of mortality — we have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement. We have come to see them as the point — and we’re happy to compromise standards, or ignore reality, if we suspect that’s the quickest way, or only way, to have something to put on the mantelpiece, something to pose with, crow about, something with which to leverage ourselves into a better spot on the social totem pole. No longer is it how you play the game, no longer is it even whether you win or lose, or learn or grow, or enjoy yourself doing it… Now it’s “So what does this get me?”
On the fouding fathers and YouTube:
You’ll note the founding fathers took pains to secure your inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness–quite an active verb, “pursuit”–which leaves, I should think, little time for lying around watching parrots rollerskate on Youtube.
On YOLO:
Now, before you dash off and get your YOLO tattoo, let me point out the illogic of that trendy little expression–because you can and should live not merely once, but every day of your life. Rather than You Only Live Once, it should be You Live Only Once… but because YLOO doesn’t have the same ring, we shrug and decide it doesn’t matter.
June 08, 2012 at 6:30 pm, Howard Lovecraft said:
…
June 11, 2012 at 2:25 am, John Belrose said:
Wait…what? OK!?!?? Who read from that damnable book? Who brought out the Al Hazif…or however that thing is spelled?
June 08, 2012 at 7:12 pm, Laura Chandler said:
You may not be special, but no worries, David McCullough is still a whiney, self important, over opiniated bitch. I know the kids are on your lawn and everything, but maybe you should look at the accomplishments of the generation, eh? A 15 year old just found a way to diagnose breast, lung and pancratic cancer for.28 cents per test. I guess some of those kids are special, huh?
June 08, 2012 at 7:24 pm, Ned Hepburn said:
Something tells me you're the kind of person that can't see a forest because of all the trees in the way.
June 08, 2012 at 7:30 pm, Cheryle Grace said:
Did you miss the point self aggrandizement is self effacing.
June 08, 2012 at 7:31 pm, James Keenan said:
Plenty of people are doing amazing things like the 15-year-old you mention and I think David knows that – he is simply warning against a general tendency (as opposed to a specific occurrence such as the one you mention) to bring accolades down to meet performance rather than to bring performance up to meet the accolades.
June 08, 2012 at 7:44 pm, Stephanie Holloway-Rodriguez said:
Really good at picking up on sarcasm and wit, aren't you Laura?
June 08, 2012 at 8:22 pm, Stephanie Holloway-Rodriguez said:
And can you link up to the info on, "15 year old just found a way to diagnose breast, lung and pancratic cancer for.28 cents per test"….because If google can't find it….the proof *probably* isn't there.
June 08, 2012 at 8:22 pm, Kyle Todd said:
You're the kind of ignoramus that posts a status on Facebook saying the government doesn't have the right to use your private info on there (despite not reading the ToS of FB which renders your "declaration" null and void). So hey, something tells me you are less likely to be one of those kids who finds a treatment for cancer and more one of those "I don't like being told the basic truth" types of people.
David is right: The idea of someone being special because their dipstick parents told them so is a huge problem in America… And even larger in Wellesley MA. I went there. I know. Trust me when I say that the over-entitled, white rich kids are exactly as David describes them.
June 08, 2012 at 8:38 pm, Micha Rinky said:
Opinionated…whiny…pancreatic….
June 08, 2012 at 8:58 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Ned Hepburn Ahem: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marlo-thomas/15-year-old-develops-canc_b_1581646.html
June 08, 2012 at 8:59 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Kyle Todd I agree that some kids ARE that way. I just don't think telling a whole crowd of kids that they are all unimportant is the way to go.Considering they actually put in the work and are graduating from college, it seems poor timing even if he was well intended.
June 08, 2012 at 8:59 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Micha Rinky Sorry, it was a non-proofread posting. thanks for correcting.
June 08, 2012 at 9:03 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Also, I am a pay my own way through college and eventually med school student who has only one living parent, is in her 30's, is perfectly comfortable with the truth but uncomfortable with far younger than her boys on facebook who make broad assumptions off of minimal Facebook info. Come on now. You seem too smart to troll.
June 08, 2012 at 9:05 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Ned Hepburn Not all all Ned. I just think that the timing was poor, and that the gentleman in question needs to understand that entitlement didn't begin in this next generation and isn't the sole responsibility of the parents of this generation.
June 08, 2012 at 9:06 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Cheryle Grace No.
June 08, 2012 at 9:10 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Stephanie Holloway-Rodriguez http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marlo-thomas/15-year-old-develops-canc_b_1581646.html
Google gave me tons of options. Maybe you are the unspecial, entitled type of kid this gentleman laments? Don't worry. I did the work for you while you rolled your eyes.
June 08, 2012 at 9:12 pm, Kyle Todd said:
High school. They are graduating for high school. He is their high school English teacher. You've never stepped foot in the school, do not know the atmosphere, do not know David, and yet you make "broad assumptions off of minimal… info." Pot calling kettle, here.
Meanwhile, I know the graduating class, the teacher, the environment they go to, and I was *at* this speech. They're great kids and, if you couldn't tell, this speech was more than just a little bit meant in jest. Telling someone they aren't special and will have to work very hard out of high school is a kindness. The speech was taken in very well – everyone seemed to love it.
So maybe you should take your crocodile tears for protecting the poor children and leave.
June 08, 2012 at 9:14 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Okay kiddo. Whatever you say.
June 08, 2012 at 9:26 pm, Kyle Todd said:
Maybe start with reading the entire transcript. Then I wouldn't be pointing out why you're being stupid on the internet. (You see, if you HAD read the whole thing, you wouldn't have made such a blatantly wrong assumption and you might actually have understood the point. That's kind of a key thing you learn in college, right? No? High school? No? Well dang, you SURE ARE BEHIND THE TIMES.)
June 08, 2012 at 9:34 pm, Laura Chandler said:
I simply see this as a difference of opinions. I think it's a bit funny for you to be name calling and getting so angry that a stranger has a difference of opinions with you that you feel the need to name call and throw a bit of a fit. Learning how to debate without resorting to ad hominem and sarcasm is something they teach you in high school also. Respect is something they teach you in life. It makes me wonder what they are teaching at Wellesley. I certainly hope this is only the way you speak to people on the internet. Unintentionally, you are causing me to wonder if David didn't have an excellent point about his current students and people who were there for the speech.
June 08, 2012 at 9:50 pm, Micha Rinky said:
Fighting on the Internet is stupid. Agreed. But this was seriously a great speech! Probably too harsh for a high school graduation, but a great tirade against half-assery and entitlement. A plus.
June 08, 2012 at 9:51 pm, Kyle Todd said:
You are not making opinions. Your first comment was to call a family friend a number of names, even going so far to show your ignorance as calling him a bitch. This isn't a matter of opinions – this is you being exceptionally rude for no reason based on misinformation and your complete inability to read.
Do you understand yet? You aren't saying, "I think that this is a rather whiny speech" or "To call this group of kids not special is offensive." You start by tearing into a stranger.
Once again: POT CALLING KETTLE.
June 08, 2012 at 9:54 pm, Laura Chandler said:
I think perhaps you are over personalizing. As you say, he's a friend of your family. I stand by my criticisms and am able to respect you have a different opinion. I don't really think there is more to say than that, young man. I wonder how much respect your family friend would credit to your own personal reactions, responses and behavior? Something to think about. Goodbye, kiddo, and good luck.
June 08, 2012 at 9:59 pm, Kyle Todd said:
Once again, you aren't "respecting an opinion." An opinion is something gathered based on evidence, which you have none. Even when confronted about it, you stick to your guns and revel in your own ignorance. Hell, you haven't even read the whole speech but sure, you can have an "opinion." What you are making a snap judgement. You're being judgmental, not opinionated.
I won't pretend that I'm not arguing here with you intelligently, like some huge debate class. I am standing up to a coward on the internet – a nobody who insults people without once bothering to know them. I'm saying "fuck you" to a horrible troll.
June 08, 2012 at 10:06 pm, Micha Rinky said:
Dear Facebook, I repent. I'm sorry for trolling. Just please stop sending me notification updates from Kyle and Laura.
June 08, 2012 at 10:06 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Micha Rinky It's the too harsh that was my issue, as mentioned. As well as the timing. There is some truth to what he says, but it's over generalized, over simplified and as a result inaccurate and unfair. I get he is trying to be sarcastic, but he is also trying to incorporate a sincere message. There was a study done in which teens were made to look at a picture of adult showing fear on their face. 100% of adults accurately understood the emotion. Teens showed a dramatic inability to do so. As it turns out, adults rely on portions of the brain that depend on logic when making decisions, and teens make decisions from a portion of the brain that is based on our more animal instincts. Then literally haven't the ability yet to simply discern things adults take for granted.
We all know entitled kids with terrible parents. They are the minority. This graduation day shouldn't have been spent focusing on the minority. It should have been spent giving accolades to the majority and encouragement for the future. This speech was a mix of too many things that were NOT these things. It was mired in admonishments, warnings, sarcasm, finger pointing and agendas. It did indeed also contain encouragement, but I just found it to be reeking of a "oy these kids today" attitude.
June 08, 2012 at 10:12 pm, Laura Chandler said:
HAHAHA! Facebook will never let you forget what you've done. Never!It'll bring it up every time you argue, henceforth. EV. ER. Y. TIME.
Sorry. I will stop commenting now. Thanks for the giggle. Micha
June 08, 2012 at 10:20 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Kyle Todd I read the speech, dear. I feel the same way. Ok, you've said your fuck you. That sure taught me to disagree with a stranger on the internet. I feel trolled, I'm all Fuuuuuu or whatever, I feel Ric Rolled and pwnd or whatever the kids say. I'm sorry I offended your uncle, or favorite teacher or Mom or future wife or future child or whatever has caused you to feel so personally angry. Life is short. I'm just a stranger who thought a person you know made a crap speech. Get this agree about pollution, or rape statistics, or our troubled government or your local schools test scores. Spend your time on that, not something as trivial as this. I certainly won't waste more time on this. Or parrots on roller skates. The irony of this post may be lost on you, but it isn't lost on me. Good luck with life, kiddo.
June 08, 2012 at 10:21 pm, Kyle Todd said:
Again, you weren't there. The graduates completely understood what was said because, gee whiz, you get quite a bit when you're there and hearing everything in context. They also go into it know that he is a TEACHER and wants nothing but the best for these kids. …Unlike you, who goes in with some petty grudge and assumes the worst about an upstanding person.
You continuously prove you can't see the forest because of all the trees and, clearly, you still haven't given this an honest read. Here, I'll make it easy for you: THE LAST FOUR PARAGRAPHS encourage and ask the children to continue doing their best. Hell, just read the 2nd to last paragraph if you're so goddamn lazy.
Don't worry, Micha, I won't respond to this obvious troll anymore. It's like talking to a brick anyway.
June 09, 2012 at 7:43 pm, Robert Novack said:
Laura, maybe you should find a cure for stupid.
June 09, 2012 at 7:50 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Robert Novack I have found the cure. It's called education. Maybe someday they'll start funding it again. (Love the Groucho glasses)
June 11, 2012 at 12:41 pm, Stephanie Holloway-Rodriguez said:
Laura Chandler You still come off as a miserable twat.
Google can't help you with that
June 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Stephanie Holloway-Rodriguez It's okay to just admit you made a mistake. Eh, no worries. I shouldn't have made a dig at you. I just hate when people don't do their own research. Pet peeve. Have a good one
June 08, 2012 at 3:22 pm, Lunchtime Links - The Daily What said:
[...] Real: A Boston high school teacher, who told this year’s grads, “You are not special” [...]
June 08, 2012 at 7:33 pm, Lauren Alexandra said:
Amazing, I love it.
June 08, 2012 at 8:12 pm, Elizabeth Teresa Anderson said:
This article illustrates that there are grammatical issues with YOLO in addition to its simple annoyingness (I can make up words because I'm an English teacher): "Rather than You Only Live Once, it should be You Live Only Once… but because YLOO doesn’t have the same ring, we shrug and decide it doesn’t matter."
June 08, 2012 at 8:51 pm, Trish Ledoux said:
Actually, anyone may make up a word. But we English teachers receive the special letters of marque to criticize the practice.
June 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm, Jake 'Spazhazzard' Billingham said:
As an English teacher you really ought to have the vocabulary and knowledge to use words that already exist properly instead of making them up to cover your inability to do so.
June 08, 2012 at 8:52 pm, Amelia Bedeilia said:
I am 100% on the side of this awesome teacher. I fear for my generation, and the current one, for the bass-ackwards "everyone's a winner" mentality that does nothing but foster elitism and entitlement. We're boned if this trend continues.
June 08, 2012 at 9:05 pm, Shawn Graves said:
As a teacher, I get mad when Middle School parents bring "Congrats Grad" Balloons to an 8th grade promotion ceremony. In fact they have really accomplished nothing but moving onto the next grade. Good luck in high school and all… I will be impressed when they actually do something great and don't burden us all with their apathy.
June 08, 2012 at 9:06 pm, Shawn Graves said:
I love this guy. It takes balls to say what everyone else is thinking. As a teacher, I get mad when Middle School parents bring "Congrats Grad" Balloons to an 8th grade promotion ceremony. In fact they have really accomplished nothing but moving onto the next grade. Good luck in high school and all… I will be impressed when they actually do something great and don't burden us all with their apathy.
June 09, 2012 at 3:28 am, Marilyn Duke said:
I went to two junior highs with two radically different mind sets. The first gave you a pat on the back and a 'good luck in high school' when you finished 8th grade. The second had a dance (a lot like prom) and a graduation. I was baffled (still am really). I couldn't understand why "graduating" from junior high was such a big deal. We had gowns, mortarboards, tassels, "diplomas" the whole 9 yards. Even my mother was like, "Wtf?"
Now they're having kindergarten graduation, 1st grade graduation, 2nd grade graduation and so forth. Why? What's the point of this? Has elementary school become such a hardship that it's a miracle the students move on from one grade to the next that each grade must have a graduation of its own?
June 08, 2012 at 9:12 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Glad to see I pushed some buttons. If you are going to criticize and entire generation and it's parents, in broad generalizations and snide (if witty) commentary, I think a touch of criticism can be expected back, yes?
June 08, 2012 at 10:54 pm, Adam Heath said:
Come on Laura, dont be so defensive simply because your the non-exception that proves the generalization.
June 09, 2012 at 1:35 am, Seth Falvo said:
Laura, you should really take your own advice.
June 09, 2012 at 1:36 am, Laura Chandler said:
Sorry, which advice Seth?
June 09, 2012 at 6:38 pm, Kris Troutman said:
*an entire generation
June 09, 2012 at 7:48 pm, Laura Chandler said:
Thank you. I saw it and it's been bugging me.
June 08, 2012 at 5:52 pm, Lunchtime Links | SillyPortal said:
[...] Real: A Boston high school teacher, who told this year’s grads, “You are not special” [...]
June 08, 2012 at 10:22 pm, Kelly Reardon said:
Sweet tapdancing Jesus this is right on the money.
June 08, 2012 at 10:34 pm, Johnathan Browning said:
Wish more teachers where like him.
June 09, 2012 at 3:29 am, Scott Smith said:
The problem with this "everyone's a winner" mentality is, well, exactly that. When people that have been raised in this fashion get out into the real world, they're in for a real shock. Losing is a part of life. In many cases, it's what inspires people to try harder. If you can get something for nothing, why bother putting forth any effort?
June 10, 2012 at 7:47 pm, Guerrilla Monkey – The weekend’s bookmarks… said:
[...] Boston teacher’s incredible speech to graduating class: ‘You are NOT special’ (brilliance) In a moment of pure untamed brilliance English teacher David McCullough went off on the graduating class of 2012 at Wellesley High, critiquing modern parenting techniques by saying that children are “pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble wrapped… nudged, cajoled, wheedled .. feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie.” (transcript here and video here) [...]
June 13, 2012 at 9:02 pm, If everyone is special, no one is « Heroic Yarn said:
[...] article: http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/184349/boston-teachers-incredible-speech-to-graduating-class-you-are… Share this:TwitterFacebookPinterestMoreTumblrEmailRedditPrintLike this:LikeBe the first to like [...]
June 15, 2012 at 12:47 pm, Suited said:
This reminds me a lot of a TEDx talk from last year entitled, "You're Not That Great: A Motivational Speech." After years of being kid-gloved people really seem hungry for this kind of message.
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXUh3wNnFrw
June 24, 2012 at 5:10 am, Lunchtime Links | SP.cm said:
[...] Real: A Boston high school teacher, who told this year’s grads, “You are not special” [...]