Some shithead company by the name of Tikun Olam has made a strain of weed that does not get you high. No, Tikun Olam is NOT the guy you bought the shitty weed from last week. It’s an actual company that we assume (without Googling or anything) makes a bunch of other shit nobody needs or wants because they’re assholes who hate fun. The Week has the full story which you should read because this here is all going to be jokes.

Honestly – who makes weed that doesn’t get you high? What could that possibly be used for?

– Cancer patients.
– MS patients.

Oh. Yeah. Well, I mean, other than that?

– People who want to avoid conversations with their weird roommate about who “didn’t clean the dishes correctly”
– People who hate fun.
– Recovering Funyun addicts.
– Anyone trying to spook the living shit out of a cop that just pulled them over.
– Really smart kids who don’t want to be completely ruined by the realization that there isn’t much more after college other than a non-stop series of terrible people in management positions…
– … who also want to get into Pink Floyd.
– Florida.
– Diet Florida.

For the eagle-eyed stoner, some of you may have recognized this concept from a Chappelle’s Show sketch.