– Big surprise. Someone in England dressed up like a giant dick. By that, I mean that it was the mayor and they dressed up like a penis.

– Brad Pitt’s mom is votin’ Romney!

– Obama fan was so excited to meet Obama she could die. And then she died.

– A goddam beautiful burger.

– What is sadder: the fact that someone was excited to be in a Jennifer Aniston movie or the fact that it was a lie to get him to pay $50,000 in child support and he totally fell for it?

– No more of those famous NBC studio tours… in California, anyway.

– Kim Kardashian is a fucking sociopath. Sorry. “Reality star.”

– BREAKING NEWS: Teddy bear reunited with little girl.