Over the weekend North Korean leader and all around gentleman Kim Jong-un stepped out in a ceremony celebrating the 100th anniversary of the birth of North Korean founder Kim Il-sung with an unidentified woman. The “Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea” (fitting name) finally has a chance to work its way into another form of American media: gossip.

Gossip around who this woman is can be seen all over media outlets (of course not in DPRK because even something as obsolete as the cd player is foreign to them) where people have been analyzing who she might be and what was Kim Jong-un showing us by bringing her out with him. Some are saying she might be his mistress, Hyon Song-wol whom he fell in love with studying abroad in Switzerland.

However what’s most important about this story is the fact that Kim Jong-un is swaggin’ out in front of his people by acting cool with a woman. On top of that, he had Disney characters come out for the ceremony to perform in front of a nation that does not even know what Disney is; top that swag, Kanye West.

Ultimately though the ceremony was for his grandfather Kim Il-sung, who is probably rolling around in his grave at this moment. Il-sung created the “perfect” country and his grandson is now ruining everything by acting soft and being an all around biatch. DPRK did not become the most hated country in the world by watching Disney and sharing the spotlight with women. It became so powerful by brainwashing their people and just not giving a fuck about the rest of the world.

So I am somewhat disappointed in you, Kim Jong-un. Your nation was like the cool kid on the block whose parents were divorced and dad made him smoke the entire pack of cigarettes when he caught him smoking. We all know women’s rights are a gateway to better human rights. What next, man? Are you going to see the United Nations as an actual organization? Will you give your people more rights than endangered animals?

As Colbert would say, this is a wag of the finger, Kim Jong-un.