This being D&T, I was going to open up my Monday morning article with a fart joke, but this time, I think I’m going to resist it.

In Germany, 150 men took part in a finger-pulling competition. Two men put one finger in a leather ring. The first person to drag it over a line twice is the winner. Sound homoerotic enough for you? Well, take a look at this video of last year’s winners. The last time I saw men get that flustered over putting two fingers in a leathery hole I had to pay $5.95 a minute.

English language German news website The Local gives us a little history:

According to legend, the Alpine sport was once a way of settling disagreements. It’s now a regulated sporting event in Bavaria and parts of Austria, with guidelines governing everything from the size of the tables to the circumference of the leather bands and the competitors’ weight classes.

But you won’t be seeing this sport stateside in any ladies’ salons:

Another strict rule: Women are not allowed to compete. “It just does not fit,” said Thomas Kell of the Isargau Club, explaining the rule.

It just doesn’t fit? Believe me, I’ve seen enough women put fingers in leathery holes to… (Editor’s note: We made Ned take a three hour long bike ride after writing this article as he can’t handle the wealth of innuendo in this story).