Nothing is more arrogant and desperate than asking for recording and touring money on Kickstarter. Let’s get that out of the way straight off. Head over to Kickstarter’s Music project section and it’s just an apocalyptic onslaught of beggary, delusion, self-importance, neo-feudalistic people states (the investors their vassals), bad hair, worse photos, beards, blank stares, flannels, postures… me, me, me. Fuck off.
You might say, “Well, what’s it to you, Pangburn? You don’t have to invest.” Indeed, I do not and I shall not!
And if I invest at all it will be because I, in some sado-masochistic way, want myself and others to feel the pain of exceptionally terrible or middling music. The goal being that Kickstarter’s music projects will reach such a critical mass of blandness and shite that investment dollars will simply dry up. That the money tree will suddenly vanish and the music trolls will retreat into their mountain lairs.
I don’t care about your project. Hundreds of millions, billions even, don’t give two shits about your new EP or music video. And when a project meets its financing goal, it only enhances the delusion that people will want to listen. Kickstarter is the enabler here, but it is not the company’s fault.
As a ruling principle, though, vanity should not be rewarded. And such delusions should not be enabled such that every day I receive email, Facebook, Twitter and various other social media notifications that this or that Kickstarter project needs financing. I will not be extorted by friendship, association and the other various ways a Kickstarter music project moves by degrees through cyberspace. Others, sadly, are easy targets.
As my Pops often says, “A fool and his money are soon parted.” Well, the maxim doesn’t exactly hold true on Kickstarter, where the risk is low.
So I propose a solution: the only way out of this music holocaust is to increase the wager. That’s right, investors should be not allowed to contribute a meager 5, 10 or 15 dollars, etc., but wager a year’s salary, one’s investment portfolio, automobile, anything of real, critical value, on a music project. If the music is good and it sells, the wager will break even or pay off. If not, then investors will be left cursing their own foolishness. Only then will balance be restored.
Until that day, I will not finance your god-damned Kickstarter album.
August 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm, Bridget Mc said:
What about the massive success of Amanda Palmer's kickstarter?
August 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm, Teenage Heart said:
success for her backers? or her?
August 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm, Jim Ankrom said:
I agree with this article, quite a bit. I'm really, really torn by these things. People are crowdsourcing things like "Help me fix my car!", and you feel like an ass for not helping out a friend – when five years ago before kickstarter existed, no one would DREAM of begging for money from their friends like this.
August 21, 2012 at 7:12 pm, Bridget Mc said:
it seems like it's been successful for both her and her backers. though her case was isolated since she'd previously had a record deal, had a following, and is now releasing an album, book, and tour through kickstarter.
just, i guess the feeling i got from this article was more "why kickstart ANYTHING"
August 21, 2012 at 7:13 pm, Bridget Mc said:
Jim Ankrom yeah i'm not sure how i feel about cyber begging. i do think that things like kickstarter are interesting in terms of seeing things get made that might not otherwise, but it's also helped horrible companies like Desktop Jellyfish Tank get off the ground
August 21, 2012 at 7:14 pm, Teenage Heart said:
Yes, crowdfunding and crowdsourcing are evil twins. Indulgence has reached a new and undreamed of proportion. Look at what people post on TaskRabbit and even Craigslist. From the ego's perspective, others are disposable.
August 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm, Teenage Heart said:
i wasn't aware that it also succeeded for her backers. the vast majority of backers of kickstarter projects are kinda gettin burned, though.
August 21, 2012 at 7:18 pm, Bridget Mc said:
well the backers have gotten mp3s of the album (i'm not sure if the whole thing has been released yet) though again in her case, the album was made and the money she was raising was for distribution. though again we're talking about someone who has been making music for 10 years, released 3 or 4 albums with major label support, so she's someone who knows what she's doing. probably the exception to the rule(though i think Ben Folds is also looking to kickstart a project though i might be wrong there)
August 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm, Jen Moher Sepulveda said:
I once un-friended someone who was holding fundraiser shows/concerts for their wedding & honeymoon fund. Um…no.
August 21, 2012 at 7:22 pm, Jim Ankrom said:
I think Teenage Heart, above, has it right; who's getting what, here? I found Palmer's kickstarter to be kind of… gross. I felt like she played a sympathy card to milk money from fans for her album, where she could have easily gone to investors. If fans felt like they got their money's worth, then great… but there's a million BETTER artists on Bandcamp that didn't have to beg for $200K to make their album – and their music is finished already, and sometimes even free, and always with a preview. I'll give them money long before I give money to someone up front.
August 21, 2012 at 7:22 pm, Bridget Mc said:
wow that is amazingly tacky
August 21, 2012 at 7:24 pm, Teenage Heart said:
By burned I only mean overcharged. There is full disclosure and people back the projects freely, or freely by guilt. I agree with the article that people will tire of paying more and getting less. That equals "burned".
August 21, 2012 at 7:24 pm, Bridget Mc said:
her fans are pretty cultish though, why give her a hard time for getting the money interest free and without having to repay it, in a way she knew would work? (for the record, i'm not saying i even agree with what i'm saying, it's more devil's advocate)
August 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm, Drew Smith said:
I'm with Jim, but only on Amanda Palmer specifically. Incredibly tacky, gross, and frankly…that perfectly describes Palmer herself. Tacky and gross.
August 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm, Bridget Mc said:
and we never heard from Drew again after he was torn to shreds by the rabid fangirls with painted on eyebrows
August 21, 2012 at 7:28 pm, Teenage Heart said:
good points, Bridget. I don't begrudge her the money if she's got game like that, but I agree with the article that this is a bubble that's soon to burst.
August 21, 2012 at 7:30 pm, Jen Moher Sepulveda said:
This is how to win the Internet (1. Create a legit company with a specific purpose; 2. Get a state-matching grant if you raise a large amount; 3. Enlist minor web celebs to help get the word out; 4. Also seek corporate sponsorships). Goal nearly met in < a week: http://www.indiegogo.com/teslamuseum
August 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm, Bridget Mc said:
oh in general i wonder if the kickstarter bubble will burst. i mean, quite a few projects that have gotten super over funded (the jellyfish tank, some shoes, some pens,) have ended up MASSIVELY failing and have produced either crap products or no products at all…
August 21, 2012 at 7:32 pm, Drew Smith said:
Bridget ERMAGERHD SHE SHPEAKS TO MY SOUL!!!
But seriously, fuck Amanda Palmer. The most overrated of overrated hack musicians. *waits patiently for death*
August 21, 2012 at 7:33 pm, Teenage Heart said:
heheh
August 21, 2012 at 7:39 pm, Jim Ankrom said:
I actually don't think it's soon to burst. I really don't. I think people are only just beginning to figure out what they can ask money for… and people aren't exactly telling their friends to their faces that, hey, this is kind of tacky to ask for funding for your wedding/vacation/treehouse/art project. Until we start telling our friends that no, I have bills of my own and I'm sorry but I'm not helping your education when I have student loans too… it's only gonna get worse.
It's different if you get a product in return; and I don't have problem with even funding albums if I get one in return, but it's very much how I'm asked. I love crowdfunding new small-production run products that just need commitments to buy. But Palmer's approach was "Woe is me, I'm fighting the big labels, give me money", which if you look around bandcamp or soundcloud or others, there are tons of people doing just that – successfully – without martyring themselves.
August 21, 2012 at 7:44 pm, Bridget Mc said:
those are all really good points, but again it's how she chose to market herself and it worked out massively in her favor. obviously she could've funded the album a whole host of other ways, but again, at least in her case the album was done and there was a fanbase more than happy to pay $300 to see her play.
that said, i do find other aspects of crowdsourcing to be super tacky. i mean, shit, my meds/dr appointments cost a TON of money, why the hell aren't i asking you guys for cash to help me out? i post cute pictures of my dog on FB, that would totally make it worth it for people to ensure i'm still around to post said cute dog pictures (for real i had no idea people were doing this shit for weddings/honeymoons)
August 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm, Drew Smith said:
How much do I have to donate to get visitation with your dog?
August 21, 2012 at 7:57 pm, Jen Moher Sepulveda said:
Not sure if anyone has kickstarted for a wedding/honeymoon (maybe kickstarter has rules against that level of indulgence, not sure), but live shows/fundraisers, yes.
August 21, 2012 at 8:05 pm, Teenage Heart said:
isn't a "dinner date" with Amanda Palmer only $5000?
August 21, 2012 at 8:18 pm, Bridget Mc said:
i think that's the cost of her drawing a portrait of you? i know it was $300 to see an art show all about her + an acoustic set
August 21, 2012 at 8:19 pm, Bridget Mc said:
Drew Smith I am assuming that the dog will totally make it to Boston at some point since I have friends+family there ;p though by all means if you want to come to LA to meet the pupster, go for it!
August 21, 2012 at 8:21 pm, Bridget Mc said:
Jen Moher Sepulveda that blows my mind. i was talking about this with Ethan the other day, about how I sort of found it off putting when people would have a super tiny wedding and follow it up with a house party and then give people attending said house party their registry info. to me that just seemed weird etiquette wise. the idea of asking people to help pay for your wedding/honeymoon seems even weirder, though if they are providing entertainment at least that is something i guess
August 22, 2012 at 8:46 pm, Michael Paydos said:
oh man, rachel and i had a huge house party after our wedding and we never considered hitting those people up
i see no issue at all with kickstarter for any purpose at all so long as there is honest followthrough on promises. I generally find kickstarter pricing levels to be poor returns though (as in, people view it more as a charity type fundraiser than a venture).
August 23, 2012 at 3:09 am, Bridget Mc said:
my experiences on kickstarter have been mixed. the jellyfish tank was a fucking disaster. pretty much anything else i've funded has been made (fat kid rules the world) or has an experienced studio behind it (double fine, leisure suit larry)
August 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm, Robert Miller said:
What the… I don't even… okay?
August 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm, Steve Spatucci said:
When you talk about vanity – are you suggesting that people should pursue "record deals" instead?
August 22, 2012 at 3:56 pm, BA Fielder said:
I believe he's suggesting people earn their own money and pay their own way. That's how I have to do it.
August 21, 2012 at 8:08 pm, Carrie Journell said:
WTF is a Amanda Palmer?
August 21, 2012 at 8:14 pm, Vatt Mega said:
thank you so much for this article. it makes me smile that there are still some people that use logic and reality to live their lives.
August 22, 2012 at 9:12 am, No, I don’t want to finance your Kickstarter album | Death and Taxes « mr. atavist // Sunrise Ocean Bender said:
[...] No, I don’t want to finance your Kickstarter album | Death and Taxes. Share this:StumbleUponDiggRedditTwitterFacebookEmailLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. [...]
August 23, 2012 at 5:33 am, War Gogh said:
http://www.upstart.com/
August 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm, Dwight Pavlovic said:
"…every day I receive email, Facebook, Twitter and various other social media notifications that this or that Kickstarter project needs financing" – sounds like you've got too many 'friends'.