Rashida Jones is my girlfriend an incredibly beautiful and talented actress. She is also a damn spiffy writer to boot, having penned her latest movie ‘Celeste And Jesse Forever’ with her writing pal Will McCormack.
She is also, like so many of us these days, on Twitter. And she is incredibly fucking funny on it. With only 240+ tweets, she’s certainly got some gems in there. Considering my worthless Twitter account has about 14,000 tweets, that’s an impressive batting average. Here are some of our favorite ones:
New game. Middle aged tweet followed by
#youngpeoplehashtagEXAMPLE: Gotta get my colonoscopy and mammogram soon. Prevention is key!#swag— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) August 27, 2012
Being slightly lactose intolerant isn’t gonna stop me from eating this yummy gelato!
#YOLO— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) August 27, 2012
Bumped up my melatonin dose and locked down 5 straight hours last night!
#belieber— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) August 27, 2012
Sometimes I wish it was still 1995. Biggie and Pac were still alive and people didn’t use the word meme all the time
#NostalgicMeansOld— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) July 29, 2012
Digestive biscuits are the jam, can I get a what what.
— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) July 9, 2012
I haven’t seen prunes in a while.Did they re-brand themselves as “dried plums” to create distance from the whole pooping thing? FRIDAYYYY!
— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) July 6, 2012
Sometimes, when certain people are talking a lot, I take the opportunity to take a tiny brain nap. Is that bad?
— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) June 26, 2012
If I have to strip down naked and compromise my dignity in public, at least get me drunk first.
#AirportSecurityShouldSellWine— Rashida Jones (@iamrashidajones) June 19, 2012