If there’s anything I enjoy more than drinking my pain away it is most certainly writing headlines, and this particular one has been a real pleasure. Thank you. You’re too kind. Thank you. Thank you.

A 30 year old Russian man named Alexey Bykov (great name) from the town of Omsk (another great name) hired a stuntman and make-up artists to stage a car crash for his girlfriend, who was not aware that the crash was fake. After a hired-actor playing a paramedic dramatically declared Alexey dead, and after his girlfriend reportedly cried hysterically, Alexey sprang to his feet and proposed.

What. An. Asshole.

But really though, just take her out to a nice restaurant and have the waiter bring out the ring in an eclair or something, man. Or don’t. Or just stay single forever like the rest of us.

I guess Alexey really took the whole “’till death do us part” thing to a whole new level. Ba-zing!