Dear Taylor Swift,

We all break up with people. We all have people who we like who do not share the same feelings. We all get hurt. So why do you feel the need to sing on every song about some new guy coming into your life and ruining it?

People use you for sex. That is life sometime. You are 23 and I would like to ask you to be a bit more mature about your love life. Do what the rest of us young adults do when it does not work out: take some Xanax and get really drunk and try to forget about it.

This whole “I am innocent” bit is getting old. It was cute when you were 18 and that innocent country singer from middle-America, but that shit is getting really old (aren’t we all?). It is not helping that now you are going out with a 17 year-old. You are 23. If I came home with a 17 year old girl everyone would see me as a pedophile.

Love,
Kevin Camps

Now that I got that off my chest, let’s take a look at Taylor Swift’s new dubstep song “I Knew You Were Trouble.” I can’t believe it took us this long to have a dubstep heartbreak song. I do not know/care when Taylor Swift transformed from a country queen to a pop princess, but this transformation has not suited her well.

As if popular dubstep was not bad enough, the addition of Taylor Swift swooning the word “trouble” over the chorus does not add to its appeal. I should have taken a hint that the song was going to be bad when the first lyrics were, “Once upon a time a few mistakes ago.” The song does not really go up from there.

There is some arc in the story about being with someone you really like and they do not notice you blah blah blah… It goes on from there to include a piano solo, a dubstep chorus, and more Taylor Swift acting like a 15 year-old. Check out the song below if you like.

Follow Kevin Camps @kpcamps.