I have never been one for the Sexy Table Lamp or Slutty Overshoe costumes myself– I tend to be of the opinion that Halloween is a time for me and that I can dress like a hussy pretty much any other day of the year. I think the closest I ever came was the time I dressed up as Dead Jayne Mansfield With Accessory Steering Wheel- but I think people were actually more appalled by that than turned on. This year I shall be going both as the Log Lady from Twin Peaks and “Binders Full of Women”. I don’t think anyone has a fetish for either of those things (although, Rule 34…). However, there’s just something about this video that feels a little icky to me. Like it was secretly made by Puritanical Christians or something trying to be hip by name dropping the Edies or something.

There are things to like about this video from YouTube fashion advisers “Emotistyle”, for sure—they’re funny, the thing about cats is great, and whose heart is not warmed by an eerily good Tim Gunn impression? Dressing sexy for Halloween may not be my particular jam, but it is for a lot of women who maybe just enjoy the chance to be overtly sexual without feeling particularly judged about it. While for me, Halloween is my chance to show off my skills in fake blood and obscure reference making, it’s their chance to feel like a total sexbomb—and there is nothing wrong with that. You know, unless they’re repressed the whole rest of the year.

However—it’s unfortunate, but true, that most commercially available costumes for women are of the sexy variety, so if that’s not your jam, you’re kind of shit out of luck. One good point that the video brings up is that it’s pretty easy to DIY a cool creative costume without necessarily breaking the bank. When I went as Isadora Duncan, for instance, I just wore a white bed sheet as a toga, and attached a hubcap  made of tin foil to a long, dramatic scarf. And when I went as Sylvia Plath, I just wore pretty much my regular vintage-y clothes and a cardboard box I styled into an oven. See? Easy peasy. Halloween costumes, like everything else we do with our bodies, should be a matter of choice.*

*Although I don’t recommend going as Dead Sharon Tate because it really does not go over well.