Reality television star and human thumb Donald Trump once again reared back his gaping maw of a mouth and spewed forth some word vomit unto the awaiting media who girlishly giggled and frolicked in the mire of journalistic over-saturation beneath Donald’s ignoble brow. For it was today that Donald Trump doth spoke to the media and demanded that President Barack Hussein Obama reveal himself to be but a shapeshifter and a sorcerer.

And what does a conjurer and ne’er-do-well such as Barack not have, you ask? Why, college applications and passport applications, of course! Yeah! Because… um… people always keep all of those. All of the time. Always. What could possibly go wrong, Donald?

Lo, the journalists did NOT like this offering from he, the flaxen haired one of tall buildings and many riches! They threw his word-spew back in his face, and he doth surely will protest!

Ah, but such is just another day in the life of America’s worst human being. Maybe next time you’ll get ‘em, Donald! Or you could go back to ranting about Rosie O’Donnell over and over. That shit was hilar.