“So we really want to remember this day forever but we also are really into bad ’90s music video effects. What can you do for us?”

“The wedding? Pretty great. But your great aunt’s hat? Unforgettable.”

Rebecca became a shadow of her former self.

Why don’t you stand over there. Right. Now you stand over there. OK. Now both of you don’t get married.

The photographer has clearly had way too much coffee. A joke about coffee, ladies and gentlemen! I’ll be here all week!

“IIIIIII LLLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEE CCCCCCCOOOOOOCCCCCCAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNEEEEE” – a photographer

Way to go, you two. You had a “Star Wars” engagement photo session.

Clearly I’m missing a trend here.

Romance? Or possible alcoholism? You be the judge.

Or, hey, just don’t wear earrings.

“Grandma? What was Grandpa like?” *hands grandchildren this photograph* *all grandchildren become bad comedians later in life*

Gwenevive, I loved you since I first saw you working there at Hot Dog On a Stick. And I doth said to my brethren who worketh with me at the Spencers Gifts, I said ‘yay verily, for she shall be mine some day.’

Perfect timing.

And again, perfect timing.

Remember in the late ’90s how everyone in high school had these cheesy-ass wallet sized photos taken? It was tragic. This, though, is like seeing a unicorn in the wild.

Girl I saw you from afar from across the photography studio and that is when I knew I wanted to talk to you, girl.

I will marry the living fuck out of you and there shall be no escape, Katherine.

“Remember how much we loved parking meters? Those were the days, Harry.”

Good photography is all about framing.

Was this the best one? Really? The one with the pug? That’s the highlight?

Someone should tell that guy he really needs to relax when he’s having his photograph taken.

Keith’s gas problem was really hampering the engagement.

Oh no way you guys, Spiderman works at Trader Joes!

“I married her for her shoulders, Gary. They own me. Now I kindly suggest you and your masseuse license get the hell off my property.”

If the portapotty wasn’t the size of my first apartment’s bedroom I’d have a better joke for this but as it is I paid $600 a month for that place.

Cool head, bro.

Years of therapy captured in one image.

The height of charm.

“I married him for his cannon.”

This must have seemed hilarious at the time, not so much now that its all over the internet.

“I spent all my money on this shitty photograph. Wamp waaaaamp.”

Chill out, dude.

I’m all for jokes and such but peeing in your engagement photos is a little, uh, broad.

I mean people give Chris Brown shit all the time but this guy HIRED a photographer so what say you now, liberal media? Huh?

Say what you will, but people just love visual metaphors.

You can really feel the passion between them, can’t you.

This isn’t so much “bad photography” as much as it is me thinking this was a promo shot for a new Degrassi spinoff.

A little post-processing never hurt anybody.

“No, I’m telling you, they’re not just codependent. They’re really sown together at the ass.”

Laugh now but good lord do not book a hotel room next to them.

Ah, visual humor. It never loses its appeal.