I honestly can’t imagine anyone would sit through all 72 minutes of Хоббит (some may know it as J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit”) — not counting all the hardcore LOTR fans, of course, or the Tolkien bootlicker who uploaded the entire Leningrad TV adaptation to YouTube.
Me, I have laundry to do. Otherwise, sure, I’d break out the HDMI cable and watch a leotard-clad Gollum and paper mache spiders for an hour. Actually, I’d just watch this again. But I digress.
The point is, in 1985, the Soviets beat the Americans in the race to reboot Tolkien for the small screen. For those of you who aren’t going to watch the entire video (below), no worries: I didn’t either, but I did my best to capture all the essential characters with seven screenshots (also below). This way you’ll have some point of reference when this is brought up at the next Elven meetup.
Now Back to laundry.
2. A dwarf.
3. More dwarves.
5. Gollum’s big close-up.