In Fresno, California, a man claiming to be Jesus Christ rammed his car into an unidentified Pacific Gas & Electric worker on Saturday. The PG&E employee was innocently standing next to his company-issued truck when the son of god — a.k.a. Jett Simmons McBride of Tacoma, Washington — broke the worker’s leg with his car, wedging the victim between McBride’s front bumper and the PG&E truck’s rear bumper.
McBride got out of the car and shouted racial epithets as he attacked multiple victims at the scene. (The PG&E guy was black.) Fortunately, a karmic hitchhiker named Kai, who had been riding along with the raging Jesus, cooled everything out with his trusty hatchet.
I can’t believe I’m writing any of this. Kai better explain the rest.
UPDATE: KMPH Fox 26 reporter Jacob Reisbeck uploaded the raw footage of his interview with Kai on YouTube. Enjoy: