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10 TV shows from childhood that sound insane when trying to explain them

Apr 12, 2013

Have you ever tried to explain the premise of a show you watched as a kid to someone who has never seen that show before? It doesn’t work so well. You will undoubtedly sound insane.

1. Noozles

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Ok, so there’s this girl who has these stuffed animal koalas. But they’re not actually stuffed animal koalas. They’re real koalas, but also, like, alien koalas. And they come from another dimension where everyone is a koala called “Koala Walla Land.” Sometimes they travel there by using the tiny pink koala’s compact mirror, but they have to be all stealthy about it because they don’t allow humans there for some reason. I think the one grey koala was supposed to be some kind of fugitive.

2. Jem and the Holograms

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Jerrica Benton is the owner of a record label and also an orphanage. Her dad left her a magical hologram machine called Synergy, which she uses to turn herself into a rock star named Jem and her friends into a band called The Holograms. Get it? Holograms? Because they have holograms to disguise themselves? And, um, she communicates with Synergy through her earrings. As The Holograms, they are constantly competing in “Battle of the Bands” type contests against the evil girl bands The Misfits and The Stingers, and also being plotted against by this guy Eric Raymond who wants to take over Starlight Records. Oh, also, Jerrica and Jem are both dating the same guy, and no one seems to feel weirdly about that at all.

3. Zoobilee Zoo

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These people dress up as giant anthropomorphic animals and all live in some kind of town together. No, not like furries. Like, I think they’re actually supposed to be the animals they are dressed up as, except that they can talk and walk on two legs and things. But they don’t call themselves animals, per se, they call themselves Zoobles. They might be, like, some other species of humanimals or something. Oh, but, the mayor is Ben Vereen, aka Papa Lou, which is freaking awesome.

4. Gummi Bears

gummi bears 10 TV shows from childhood that sound insane when trying to explain them

The Gummi Bears are some kind of like, magical society of bears (like the Masons) who live in a giant tree in the middle of a medieval forest and have to keep their existence secret from humans. They have a magic power, sort of. They can bounce really high, as a result of drinking a potion called “Gummi berry juice.” It is not a very good magic power, as far as magic powers go. I forget most of what it is they do otherwise. Mostly just the bouncing. Here, there and everywhere. In medieval times.

5. The Littlest Hobo

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The Littlest Hobo is THE JAM. Basically it is about a Canadian hobo dog who wanders from Canadian town to Canadian town solving everyone’s Canadian problems. Lovelorn Leslie Nielsen’s problems, Mike Myers’s paraplegic friend’s frisbee problems — all of the problems anyone can possibly ever have. He solves all of the things with some kind of magic psychic dog powers and is much wiser than all the humans because of the vast wealth of knowledge he has obtained traveling around the Canadian countryside.

6. Denver The Last Dinosaur

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So a bunch of 90′s California skateboarder kids find an egg somewhere that turns out to be a real dinosaur who can already kind of communicate with them. They name the dinosaur Denver, and even after he starts growing he is only about three feet taller than humans, and is easily disguised with a hat, sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt. Denver can also skateboard and play guitar basically right out of the womb (shell?). Which is why this one dude kidnaps him and tries to make him become a rock star? Oh, also- a part of his egg allows the gang to travel back in time to the prehistoric age and see more dinosaurs. Because pieces of eggshell are usually able to do that.

7. Rainbow Brite

Rainbow Brite and Color Kids 10 TV shows from childhood that sound insane when trying to explain them

Rainbow Brite and her friends are a bunch of children who are in charge of all of the colors in the world, and they represent all the colors of the rainbow- with the exception of the one pink girl. They also have these pet/slave things called sprites that assist them with this coloring the world venture by mining all the Color Crystals from the Color Caves. Now, you’d think that this would be fine with everyone, but noooooooo. They must constantly battle with Murky Dismal, and his friend Lurky, who have dedicated their whole entire lives to making the whole world black and white. To what end? No one knows. They are pretty much just evil monsters who hate color and want everyone to be miserable for no apparent reason.

8. Lady Lovely Locks and the Pixie Tails

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Lady Lovely Locks is a the protector of the Kingdom of Lovely Locks, and has animal friends called Pixietails that function as her weave. Her arch-nemesis is a lady called the Duchess Raven Waves who plots to take over the Kingdom of Lovely Locks by stealing a lock of Lady Lovely Locks’ hair, because that is how the peerage system works in the Kingdom of Lovely Locks. A Lady outranks a Duchess and everything is decided by hair.

9. Alvin and The Chipmunks

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Ok, sure. “Alvin and The Chipmunks” is a classic, and you will probably never have to explain them to anybody. HOWEVER, an adult single man adopted three talking chipmunks, dressed them in snuggies and forced them to form a musical act. That is weird. Also, they have The Chippettes as friends. Who are, like, the only other talking and singing Chipmunks in the world, with personalities that correlate way too specifically to that of the Chipmunks. No one else is a chipmunk in this universe, just them! Six talking, singing chipmunks that somehow were adopted by humans who treat them like they are regular humans!

10. Shirt Tales

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Just your average rag tag bunch of baby animals whose super power is having shirts that change sayings on them and also sometimes fight crime? And why not! Also there was a baby orangutan who talked like Humphrey Bogart.


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