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People! Please do not give Zach Braff your money!

Apr 24, 2013

Oh for crying out loud. This needs to stop. Ever since freaking Amanda Palmer and the Veronica Mars people launched successful Kickstarters to crowdfund their projects, other celebrities have been looking to do the same.

Last week it was Melissa Joan Hart trying to fund her first grown-up project, which was actually just sort of sad in a “OH, you used to be ‘Clarissa’ but now you’re a kind of weird Republican who is on a show with Joey Lawrence” kind of way. Now, it is Zach Braff.

Zach Braff wants your money (2 million dollars, to be exact) to fund a movie called “Wish I Was Here” that appears to involve him lying on a couch swathed in an afghan and home-schooling some kids.

I am not going to lie. I find Zach Braff irritating. Primarily because he insists upon being the voice of every commercial voice over ever. Seriously. The only two I can think of off the top of my head are the ones for PUR water filters and Cottonelle toilet paper, but I know there are more because I have said “Really? Zach Braff is the voice of this product too?” pretty often in the last few years. Also, “Garden State” was really annoying.

But that is not why you should not give Zach Braff your money. You should not give Zach Braff your money because Zach Braff has way the hell more money than you. As of this writing, about 5,300 people have donated about $400,000. That is about $75 a person. WHY IS ANYONE PAYING 75 DOLLARS TO SEE A ZACH BRAFF MOVIE?

Seriously. This is ridiculous. Zach Braff– being Zach Braff and a celebrity person who starred in a long running sitcom that is still being re-run all the time– should not be asking non-celebrities for money. He should be giving US money.

If we are going to give away our money, perhaps we should be giving it to people who actually need it, rather than to celebrities for their vanity projects. If you want to fund some kind of art, at least help out an artist of the “starving” variety.

Also, I hate to be all BUT THERE ARE CHILDREN STARVING EVERYWHERE about things, BUT THERE ARE CHILDREN STARVING EVERYWHERE. Who will not benefit at all from another Zach Braff movie. So there.


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