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Will.I.Am sues Pharrell Williams for using the words ‘I am’ because Will.I.Am is an epic, colossal douchebag

Jun 27, 2013

Recording artist and noted terrible person Will.I.Am of formerly relevant pop group The Black Eyed Peas has decided to sue Pharrell Williams, a producer and musician who is exponentialy more talented and vastly superior in every conceivable way. Will.I.Am – whose much less embarrassing birth name is William James Adams – says that “The registration of the mark . . . is likely to dilute the I AM mark and the WILL.I.AM mark.”

See, William Adams (not gonna type in Will period I period Am period any more) is assuming rights over the words “I AM” because Williams Adams is MASTER OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

Sorry, but isn’t William Adams just bummed out that he hasn’t recorded a good song in, well, actually ever, and that the chasm-wideningly better Pharrell Williams just recorded the song of the summer on the new Daft Punk album? Let’s not forget that Daft Punk once sued Will.I.Am for stealing “Around The World.” It sounds like Will.I.Am is just super bummed that he’s a fucking joke and is trying to sue someone vastly superior simply so he can stay more relevant and somehow “on par” with Pharrell Williams.

Oh wait. Will.I.Am has a history of outright theft. Here’s him stealing a Boys Noize track. Here’s him responding to stealing a Russian dance music producer’s song. Here’s the David Guetta song that Will.I.Am stole-sampled for “I Got A Feeling.” I got a feeling, William Adams, that you can’t sleep at night because you’re so painfully ripping off everyone around you and it’s causing you to lash out at people for using two words in the english language.

Will.I.Am consistently makes the excuse “I’m a creator, what I do is instantaneous and sometimes doesn’t have time to get cleared by legal” whenever he’s confronted with issues of accusation. Will – you’re not a creator. You’re a joke that nobody takes seriously who steals from other people.


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