Burger King unveils new ‘French Fry Burger’ because life isn’t worth living
Patton Oswalt called it way back in 2007. During one of his stand-up gigs, which for your convenience is embedded below, the 44-year-old waxed philosophical about how the fast food nation enables defeatist American culture with gluttonous items, such as the KFC bowl, that pass themselves off as clever when in fact they are, to paraphrase Oswalt, failure piles in bowls of sadness.
And, since Wendy’s currently nabbed the number two slot in sales in the fast food wars, Burger King has unleashed the latest unimaginable item: Clocking in at 360 calories and 19 grams of fat, here comes the French Fry Burger, a standard beef patty topped with four of the chain’s French fries, for just $1.
Because ordering French fries on the side, taking the time to lift them with your meat crane and swallow them separately from your dubious sandwich requires too much effort, too much pain. Just throw it all down at once, yes yes, and if one can save a buck or two in the process, then U.S.A.
Now, onto Oswalt’s prescience: