Some right-wing truckers are going to block DC traffic and ‘arrest’ members of Congress
A bunch of truckers angry at EPA fuel efficiency standards, Obamacare, the arming of Syrian Rebels, and, I don’t know, the high cost of naked lady mudflaps or whatever, are headed to DC (or “Bull City,” as it is known in CB lingo) to obnoxiously block commuter traffic on the beltway until they get to arrest all the members of Congress who have
violated their oath of office voted for things they don’t personally support. They are calling it “Truckers Ride for The Constitution.”
Earl Conlon, one of the organizers, has stated that truckers will be circling the beltway three lanes deep starting October 11th—until their demands are met, or until the weekend is over, whichever comes first.
Earl Conlon, who is totally going to arrest all the Demo-rats. (photo)
Commuters will only be allowed to pass if they write T2SDA (Truckers to Shut Down America!) on their vehicle, because nothing is more American than making people who don’t agree with you late for work. “It’s going to be real fun for anyone who is not a supporter,” Conlon said, “[and] if cops decide to give us a hard time, we’re going to lock the brakes up, we’re going to stop right there, we’re going to be a three lane roadblock.”
He and his trucker friends and some ex-country singer named Zeeda Andrews, who are in no way indicative of what happens to people who listen to right-wing talk radio at length, have assembled a “Citizen Grand Jury” and indicted several members of congress whom they believe have violated the constitution.
This whole “Citizen Grand Jury” is the hot new thing for weirdo conspiracy theorists. It started with 9/11 truthers, and the torch has since been passed to birthers and other fringey right-wing lunatics. It’s pretty much like, get a bunch of your friends together and demand that elected officials be arrested for not agreeing with your views or giving you free ice cream. It’s the same tactic used by that Larry Klayman dude who thinks he’s going to arrest Obama on November 19th.
“We want these people arrested, and we’re coming in with the grand jury to do it,” he said. “We are going to ask the law enforcement to uphold their constitutional oath and make these arrests. If they refuse to do it, by the power of the people of the United States and the people’s grand jury, they don’t want to do it, we will. … We the people will find a way.”
Unfortunately for this fella, no matter what Alex Jones has been telling him, these Citizen Grand Juries are not, like, real things. When a group of birthers tried to indict President Obama, they were promptly informed by a judge that “[T]here is no authority under the Rules of Procedure or in the statutes of the United States for this court to accept [a presentment]… The individuals who have made this presentment were not convened by this court to sit as a grand jury nor have they been selected at random from a fair cross section of this district. Any self-styled indictment or presentment issued by such a group has no force under the Constitution or laws of the United States.”
If any members of this group do attempt to arrest a member of Congress, they will likely be charged with kidnapping, given that they don’t actually have the authority to arrest anyone, period. For his part, however, Conlon is pathetically optimistic:
“What we want to do is go in nice and peaceful and keep it as peaceful as possible… but if they decide to get ugly with us we’re going to do what we have to do,” he said. “If all I get is one or two congressmen walked out of there in handcuffs, that will be a shot across the bow that will ripple across all branches of government. … I hope they are all civil enough and brave enough to step out onto the congressional steps.”
Yeah, dude, I’m really sure that’s going to happen. All they’re going to accomplish is looking like weird crazy losers and annoying the crap out of people trying to get to work on time.
There are tons of politicians I don’t like. The vast majority of them, even. However, I am not mental, and I don’t think I have the authority to arrest Ted Cruz for being a bag of dicks. Just like I’m not dumb enough to believe that if I fill out some paper work and capitalize my entire name, that I get to be a sovereign citizen and not pay my taxes. Or that if I say Beetlejuice three times that Michael Keaton will appear and make my family do a Conga-line dance to “Day-O.” It’s simply not realistic.
However, as far as I’m concerned, October 11th can’t come soon enough. This ought to be hilarious.