Carl’s Junior is now trying out a footlong burger, you know, just to see how it fares. In the wake of the KFC Double Down, the cold war of fast food restaurants continues, but it has taken a drastic step away from the healthy fast food trend. Subway, McDonalds, as well as the good old combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut all created healthier options for our continually growing (physically, that is) nation. But maybe making healthy options available at fast food restaurants is not the answer, maybe the Double Down is a renaissance of good old American fast food, and it might actually be a good thing. Carl’s Junior is now trying out a footlong burger, you know, just to see how it fares. In the wake of the KFC Double Down, the cold war of fast food restaurants continues, but it has taken a drastic step away from the healthy fast food trend. Subway, McDonalds, as well as the good old combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut all created healthier options for our continually growing (physically, that is) nation. But maybe making healthy options available at fast food restaurants is not the answer, maybe the Double Down is a renaissance of good old American fast food, and it might actually be a good thing.
If you’re going to McDonalds, it’s not likely you’ll want a salad once you get there, and even if you do opt for the “healthy” salad option, the dressing often contains almost as many calories as a burger. And the Fresca Tacos at T-bell are pretty much just lame versions of their squeeze-tube meat counterparts. Maybe fast food restaurants should jump on the KFC band wagon. Sure, get rid of the seriously deadly tran-fats, but stick to the shitty food and make it so extravagant that its calorie count is practically listed on the bun itself, like posting a smoking kills sticker on a pack. No one can, in their right mind, eat a double down and wonder, why am I fat?
Here are some food creations that will increase your pant size, not because the calories are hidden, but because they’re so in your face (literally, if you so choose) that they can’t be missed.
KFC did a big old fuck you by creating the Double Down, a sandwich that skips the bun and enwraps the trimmings in two battered, deep-fried breasts of chicken.
Sonic has recently introduced their foot long quarter pound coney dog which features a foot long frank covered in chili and cheese. Hot dog!
The Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger. W-w-w-w-wait… Is that a burger inside of a doughnut? Yes, yes it is. And as if that’s not enough, some of them even have bacon.
The Red Robin Wise Guy Burger. T’is a burger with topped with Mozzarella cheese sticks, peperoni, and marinara sauce. I said good day sir!
The Carl’s Junior Breakfast Burger. Hash browns, lots of cheese, bacon, and an egg on a patty. This is everything I ever feel bad about eating when I’m hung over, but on top of a cheeseburger!
The In ‘N Out 100 x 100 burger. This is an In N’ Out burger at it’s finest. It is 100 patties of meat with 100 slices of cheese. Guh, the only thing more disgusting than eating that would be making it.
July 12, 2010 at 4:53 pm, Steve Fisher said:
Carl’s niche is food that people crave, which is clearly not “healthy” food. I just got back from Iowa. It’s hard to beat the pork tenderloin the size of your platter which makes the bun look like a joke. Life is a never ending war against human nature.
July 13, 2010 at 12:31 pm, POWER LUNCH « F-Listed said:
[...] If I Wanna be Fat, I’ll Eat This Foot-Long Cheeseburger (Death + Taxes) [...]
July 22, 2010 at 1:34 pm, Death and Taxes » Pamela Anderson: Too Hot for Animal Rights said:
[...] And she definitely achieved that goal. Even though she’s airbrushed within an inch of existence, at 43 years old she looks good enough to…well, eat. I looked at it and thought, “yummy,” as opposed to, “oh my god, I’ve got stop eating hamburgers.” [...]