Husband details sexual dissatisfaction in spreadsheet, emails to wife at work
A total Don Juan with an intuitive sense of what really turns women on recently found that despite his best efforts he’d only had sex with his wife three times in the past seven weeks. So he did what any man in his position might do—he sent his wife a seductive email with an Excel spreadsheet detailing his dissatisfaction with her sexual rejections, down to the date, complete with verbatim quotes to passive-aggressively use against her.
The man’s wife is a Reddit user. Redditor throwwwwaway29 explains:
Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.
He then gave her the cold shoulder when she called from a business trip, refusing to pick up the phone.
We’ve all been there—the magic disappears. Sometimes it comes back, sometimes not. But never once, in the history of lovemaking, has it ever been brow-beaten back with a bunch of whining and a passive-aggressive spreadsheet.
Whoever you are you’re making us look bad, man. Both parties in a relationship need to try, and if your partner gives up that’s a bummer. But tellingly, your spreadsheet doesn’t say anything about how you tried to initiate on any of these occasions. The fact that this spreadsheet exists indicates you’re the kind of dude who thinks sex is something you’re owed, which tends not to lead to the sexiest of approaches.
The most highly-voted bit of advice for the wife came from user depb66. It seems pretty solid:
For the sake of your sanity in dealing with clients for nine days, reply back with an email. But a nice one. Even if his email was pretty lame, he is probably fearing that the past 7 weeks are not only temporary but a new way of things.
Tell him you love him, things have been crazy with all of the stuff going on, but you will work it out. And for your sake, even though you guys have a lot of stuff going on, you have to enjoy life. Make evenings together “your thing”. Make dinner after the gym but leave him the dishes while you go and take a nice shower, get into something comfortable and just relax and enjoy your night together. Watch TV, have sex, snuggle. Married life gets busy. When my kids were little my grandmother told me that housework will always wait for you. I always spent evenings with my kids making dinner, giving them a bath, reading to them etc. Your evenings together are as important as anything else in life, maybe more so. Cut yourself some slack, and him too. Hope it works out.
H/t & Image: Deadspin