Navel-gazing surgeons finally decide what the perfect belly button looks like
Hey you! Yeah, you! Feeling pretty OK about the way you look today? Got a little extra spring in your step? Well, stop it right now and take a look down at your stomach and get out your ruler! Because you–yes you–may very well have an imperfect belly button. I know, right? Like you didn’t have enough to worry about.
Via Daily Mail:
Surgeons at the University of Singapore’s Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, whose research was published in ASJ, analyzed images of 37 Playboy Playmates (really) to assess the ideal length, shape and position of the navel.
With the help of a computerized tool called an ‘Aesthetic Analyzer’, they established that a perfect belly button has a ratio of 46:54, and a midline horizontal position.
The ideal length is 5 percent of the length from the lower breastbone to the lower part of the vulvar cleft, and the ‘hood,’ or flap, is very small.
Luckily, I am terrible at math and therefore have absolutely no interest in using it in order to find things wrong with myself. In fact, I can think of few things I would be less likely to voluntarily do.
However, plastic surgeon Dr. Adam Rubinstein of Miami, Florida, tells Today.com that most people just want their belly button to be in the ‘range of normal.’
‘Using Playboy Playmates is kind of an arbitrary sample. Just because these women are considered beautiful doesn’t mean they have beautiful belly buttons,’ he said.
The “range of normal?” This is a thing? I mean, I have one friend with a slightly off-center belly-button, and we all find that kind of endearing. I have an all the way innie that comes to a point. I’m pretty OK with it. Aren’t belly buttons kind of just there? I mean, is there any such thing as a truly stunning one?
I wouldn’t expect anyone to be so concerned about having an aesthetically perfect navel that they would have surgery. Then again, I wouldn’t expect anyone to want to be a Human Barbie Doll either, but here we are.
Weirdly, this is not even the first research of this kind. There apparently have been multiple efforts to find the perfect female belly button. Because apparently no one cares about the aesthetic appeal of male belly buttons. Either that or there isn’t enough money in repairing all the other things we tell women are wrong with them.
Previous research to develop a navel aesthetic took place in 2000 at the University of Missouri, where images of 147 female belly buttons were shown to a panel of 15 men and 6 women.
According to Charles L. Puckett’s journal article In Search of the Ideal Female Umbilicus, navels considered beautiful were small and vertically oriented, or T-shaped, while horizontal belly buttons were thought to be ugly.
Can you imagine being in that research group and trying to take it seriously? I am reasonably sure that after looking at and rating 147 belly buttons is a thing that could drive a person insane. Surely they would haunt your dreams for years to come.
All of this aside, I assure you all–despite the fact that I don’t know you–that your belly button is probably 100% non-offensive, unless for some reason you still have your umbilical cord attached, because I bet that would be gross.