Nefarious actions at the Minerals Management Service and the Pentagon reveal a disturbing correlation between chronic masturbators and government employees
From its founding, life inside the beltway has always been a bit scuzzier than normal. Between illicit brothels and drug rings, vice sits like a moldy cornerstone in the foundation of our nation’s capital. And judging by a few scandals this year, the seedy perversion of government employees has trickled problematically into the workplace. In a story broken by The Boston Globe today, it reached a climax with the discovery that Pentagon workers and contractors have been downloading and paying for child pornography, using taxpayer time and equipment, to service themselves with the vilest of digital smut.
While we’re just as guilty as the next guy for watching video nasties at the office, Death + Taxes’ field of work doesn’t entail keeping the world in order and people alive. We also don’t condone the trafficking of abusive material. But, when you’re paid by taxpayer nickels and dimes to keep the USA in tact, it’s worth getting upset when the government asks first how it can pleasure itself; not how it can serve its country.
Before this slew of child porn smeared the Pentagon this morning, two other prurient misadventures have tarnished Washington DC this year, verifying a government-wide addiction to pornography.
First was by The Securities and Exchange Commission in April. Their job is to monitor the financial markets, making sure that people like Bernie Madoff never get away with playing the financial industry illegally. An investigation found 31 serious offenders during the last two and a half years, most of whom where senior SEC officers. One of these officers, whose salary exceeded $100,000 dollars a year, spent over eight hours per day browsing porn sites. Talk about a job with benefits!
Then the BP drilling operation blew up, and eyes turned toward the government to find out how this could have ever happened. As we know, major oversights were made with regard to the destroyed rig, and a subsequent investigation into Minerals Management Service discovered that employees took bribes from oil lobbyists, carried on sexual relations with them, and even smoked meth at work. Here the sex was real, not virtual, but still taken for granted as a salacious trade of environmental responsibility for orgasms.
Now comes the clincher, because we all know that it takes the number three to mark a trend. Investigative reports show that “a few dozen” Pentagon employees have used government computers to pay for and download child pornography. Many of them had special security clearances, which presents a danger to our military secrets through the threat of bribery. According to The Globe:
“The investigations have included employees of the National Security Agency, the National Reconnaissance Office, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency — which deal with some of the most sensitive work in intelligence and defense — among other organizations within the Defense Department.”
Is this the price we have to pay for the War on Terror? a rampant spree of pedophilia?
This year has shown that, along with prostitutes and sleeping pills, Washington loves the digital erotic. But, in the aftermath, isn’t it remarkable to find the eye of big brother trained back on itself? If not that, then what we’ve captured going on in the District is foully harrowing.
