Shit Express will deliver poop to your enemies
In a move slightly less sociopathic than say, putting a horse head in your enemy’s bed, an online company is now offering people the option of sending feces to anyone on your shit list. In exchange for Bitcoin or a few other types of cryptocurrency, Shit Express will deliver a box of animal poop straight to your adversary’s door. And just in time for the holidays!
There are a couple catches. For starters, the company only accepts cryptocurrency in order to protect the sender’s anonymity. Also, Shit Express can’t actually guarantee the delivery of said feces since each country’s postal system has their own way to safeguard against the delivery of hazardous or illegal materials. So, just knowing you sent that ex-spouse or former boss that package full of poop may have to be its own reward.
About 17 dollars will buy you a box full of horse manure. However, the site gives you a choice of different animal feces because, as the web copy claims, “…animals have different types of excrement – different colours, smell and consistency.” Apparently, you can tailor the different poop flavors to your own personal brand of vengeance. It’s probably only slightly less rewarding than crapping into the box yourself.
Shit Express also offers gift wrapping, including, but not limited to, ornate bows and giant smiley face stickers.
If anything, this might be the motivator for people to start treating others with the care and respect they deserve, if only to keep boxes of shit from showing up at their doors.