Woman wearing ‘dropping a load’ T-shirt takes dump at Kmart

In Racine County, Wisconsin, a 49-year-old has been accused of burgling a few proverbial turds inside a cardboard box at Kmart.

A police report obtained by the lovelies at The Smoking Gun described the Monday morning incident in which Melissa Jacobson (mugshot currently unavailable) was wearing a T-shirt that had a picture of a dump truck across the chest and the words “DROPPING A LOAD” scrawled alongside it.

Also, reason being this item has been making the news is because the aforementioned cardboard box was not the designated toilet for the retail superstore. Rather, the customer had walked into the store and “loosened her pants and squatted down” near the cash register. There must have been a cardboard box nearby or something, because, according to the report, the next thing an eyewitness saw was Jacobson “reaching for paper towels beneath the counter.” What, she couldn’t grab the wet wipes from aisle seven?

But enough hacky shit jokes. (Seriously, enough Brian.) The reason cops came around to finally busting the public pooper was the fact that one employee eventually detected a “funky” odor by the cash wrap. Now, Jacobson faces charges related to disorderly conduct, obstructing an officer and resisting an officer. And we really need to see that mugshot.

[h/t TSG]