Joaquin Phoenix Vs. James Franco: Who’s Phonier?

Joaquin Phoenix’s 18-month journey from fine actor to bohemian rapper was documented by Casey Affleck, but the to-be released film has already been outdone by the wayward antics of James Franco.

About a year and half ago Joaquin Phoenix appeared on David Letterman in a black suit, his face smothered by a nappy beard. He was there to promote the film “Two Lovers.” Letterman overly embellished the film in preparation for the incoherent moron he was about to interview. Within 30 seconds he seemed tired of Phoenix’s facade. He had a lot in common with the rest of the movie-going public.

The trailer for the film documenting Phoenix’s descent as a movie star, or rise as a rap star — whichever — was released earlier today. It’s called “I’m Still Here,” and it’s defined by its tortured artist imagery, plaintive narration, and the overwhelming fact that nobody cares, for two reasons. One, we live in such a cynical society that if a celebrity artist does anything adventurous its immediately met with nonchalance and detraction. Two, we have James Franco pulling all this wacko crap already. We don’t need two of you. And James Franco is actually fun.

However, is sarcastically appearing on a major network drama like “General Hospital” more valuable than a dirty beard and feigned mysticism? And why aren’t celebrities content appearing in films and making tons of money anymore? Why do they have to invent alter egos and personally enforce their own exiles? Are meta actors more culturally valuable than actors? Is this conversation happening in an NYU dorm room right now?

As for meta-acting, brace yourself for 60 seconds of it.