Court orders woman cursed by witch not to retaliate

A woman in Glastonbury, England, has been ordered by a court to leave her neighbor alone despite her suspicions that said neighbor is an evil witch who put a curse on her.

According to the Central Somerset Gazette, one Hilary Joy Osborne took an intense disliking to her neighbor Lynda Brown about 10 months ago after learning that Brown was a New Age spiritualist who “taught pagan drumming and also practiced Druidism, mantra chanting and Buddhist traditions.” You know, witch stuff.

In an effort to hound the conjure-woman out of her community, Osborne used time honored witch-busting tactics like “screaming,” “banging on her walls at all times of night,” and threatening to burn her house down. She also threw a golf club at her. (Witches hate golf.)

via the Central Somerset Gazette:

A previous Osborne ignored police warnings to curb her behaviour and one night the victim and her lodgers were woken by a piercing scream with the defendant shouting “you have people in the walls talking to me, take these curses off me you ****ing witch.”

She also claimed her neighbour had cast spells and put voodoo curses on her and repeatedly accused her of practising black witchcraft.

For her part, Brown denied any demon-raising activity and said Brown had made her life “a living hell.” (Although that would be a good thing, for a Satanist.) In a victim’s impact statement, she wrote:

“I don’t feel safe in my own home and try to be out as much as I can and have also received threats to kill me.

“I have disturbed sleep and am on medication to calm me and when I get home late at night I have to text my friends to reassure them I am safe.

“I cannot leave my windows open and it is almost intolerable and it has seriously impacted on my ability to work as she has also sought to discredit me with colleagues and potential employers.”

Spoken like a charter member of the international occultist underground.

In previous cases against her unfriendly neighbor, Brown has recalled her shouting “You see if I don’t do something to you” in a threatening voice, telling Brown’s lodgers “you don’t know what that woman is doing to me,” and even trying to keep her from hanging her enchanted pantyhose on the line by shouting “witch, witch, take it off you witch.” Question: If Brown was really a dark sorceress with the power to curse people, wouldn’t this lady want to stay on her good side by any means possible?

Osborne was hit with a two-year restraining order, told not to contact her on pain of fines, and ordered back to the 17th Century storybook from whence she came.

Satisfied the powerful witch lobby had the magistrate firmly in pocket, the bride of Satan cackled to herself and returned to her necromancy.

[h/t Fark]