A new theory of evolution proves what Sarah Palin and her fans have always known: Darwin was a retard.
“Survival of the fittest,” the Darwinian theory that the whole world has treated as scientific fact for the last 150 years, has finally been disproven. A new study published in the highly respected journal “Biology Letters” has proved that creationism and immaculate conception are not only scientifically valid, but true beyond any reasonable doubt.
Just kidding. But new, rational research contradicts Darwin’s most important work, albeit to a lesser extent. The article by Sarda Sahney, Michael Benton and Paul Ferry of Bristol University supposes that the greatest evolutionary leaps in biodiversity were caused by species moving into previously unoccupied living space—not competition.
The report cites the move from water to land and then land to sky as examples of new living space leading to changes in DNA.
On the one hand, this fascinating study explains why all the scrawny, tattooed hipsters crammed into the Bedford stretch of Williamsburg are indistinguishable from one another. On the other hand, the ease with which Jersey douche bags can get laid at Club Exit in Manhattan remains a staggering mystery — one that may be beyond the scope of modern science to explain.
Featured image illustration from Hornet magazine.





August 27, 2010 at 6:28 pm, Luhn said:
Carmel:
The study in question does not contradict Darwin's work at all. This paper does not call Darwin's theories into doubt. Saheny is exploring fairly arcane aspects of evolution. We contacted Sahney and she was adamant: “We are not in any way suggesting Darwin was wrong.”
Steve Newton, geologist, historian, and programs/policy director at the National Center for Science Education (NCSE) has written about how this study has been misread and mislabeled:
“Darwin Was Not Wrong–New Study Being Distorted”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-newton/dar…
Yrs.,
Robert Luhn
NCSE
August 31, 2010 at 10:28 am, Enezio E. de Almeida Filho said:
There is no Theoria perennis in science. Darwin was wrong in many fundamental scientific issues for the establishment of evolution, and this anyone can find in any decent and objective History of Science journal.
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