Cold Cave In New Verizon Commercial: Can You Hear Me Now?

Verizon uses “Life Magazine” in a back-to-school advert.

Verizon wants high-schoolers to socialize on smart phones this school year, so they teamed up with Cold Cave. This is perhaps a misguided decision, since “Life Magazine” is actually a song about the uselessness of communication. Also, the band’s name hardly conjures up word-association images of crystal clear cell reception.

Cold Cave is the latest indie band to sell their music to that Jabberwock of corporate advertising. With this song in the background paradox abides in this ad, but that’s the least of Cold Cave’s worries as long as the money’s wired through.

While a free-spirited boy skates onto campus with his new phone, Caralee McElroy sings, “I’m not going back!” To where, to school? It’s a back-to-school ad, dude—you are most assuredly going back. And if you’re not, that’s stupid because high school’s the shit.

With a Verizon device, you can sext your way to prom king or queen. Just don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out, because that’s the reality of life. Phones often fail and, just because you have 3G, it doesn’t mean anyone wants to speak with you.

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