Oregon Militia member loses mind, challenges Chris Christie to sumo wrestling match


Things are getting a little weird at the Malheur National Wildlife Preserve. One of the militia members donned an improvised mawashi and filmed himself challenging failing presidential candidate Chris Christie to a sumo wrestling match.

New militia member Kelly Gneitling uploaded the video to YouTube in response to Christie’s comments stating that law enforcement should end the Oregon standoff. He calls himself the governor’s older brother, referring to him as “little Chrissy,” and says that he “wants to see who the real sissy is.”

“You know what I want to see? I want to see you come over here and disperse me, your older brother, in the dojo,” Gneitling said. “Woo-hoo, little Christie!”

“Let’s go to war over the constitution, and for momma’s love,” he added.

He then outlines the challenge. If Christie can win one of 10 matches, the whole militia will leave. Seems promising!

“Bring that big ol’ belly over here, and let’s slap bellies. I’m talking about 10 bouts. You win one out of those 10, and me and these other good, constitutional folk … we’ll disperse,” he said. “But if I win all 10, I get to roll you down the stairs in that sleeping bag again.”

None of it makes any sense. Maybe, desperate for snacks, they tried cooking some of the plastic dildos that various pranksters mailed to them, and the chemicals destroyed their brains?

[h/t Raw Story]