Vermin Supreme ditches Democrats, seeks Libertarian nomination
The thinking man’s candidate, Vermin Supreme, has just made a shocking announcement: He’s leaving the Democratic party.
Despite placing fourth in the New Hampshire primary and, in the process, garnering more votes than Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, or Jim Gilmore, Supreme has decided to jump ship and head to where his maverick brand is perhaps more appreciated. That or he’s just messing with everyone, as usual.
Supreme made the announcement on Facebook, writing: “I look forward to my exclusion from their debates.”
The announcement came shortly after Supreme appeared at the recent Libertarian-themed International Students for Liberty Conference, where he gave a keynote speech and delivered an ear-splitting, megaphone-powered rendition of the “Star-Spangled Banner” that would’ve made Jimi Hendrix proud.
If it’s wise, the Libertarian Party will play nice with Supreme and consider him for the nomination. Not only has he proven his effectiveness, but those who draw his ire have been known to be mercilessly criticized with a megaphone, as Ted Cruz found out the hard way, or else run off like “chickens” as Kasich supporters learned firsthand.
For their part, the Libertarians seem happy to have him, or else they’re just happy that someone is paying attention to them. It remains to be seen how Supreme’s free pony platform, in which the candidate has long held he will give every American a free pony, will jibe with Libertarian doctrine that generally frowns upon large-scale government programs. To say nothing of his proposed mandatory toothbrushing law.