queen-feature

God Heat The Queen, Not The Poor

Sep 24, 2010

Poor old Elizabeth II—not even robes or public welfare will keep her warm at night.

queen adp God Heat The Queen, Not The Poor

Give the Queen of England an electric blanket, for God’s sake. Even with a $38 million taxpayer allowance, the aging monarch’s budget won’t cover the price of heating palaces and keeping lights on, so her treasurer tried to dip into state poverty money in 2004 to pay for heating fuel and electricity.

According the The Independent, the price of these expenses combined was about a million pounds at the time, which would equally pay for an average London flat’s utilities for two and a half centuries. It’s likely because Buckingham Palace ranks miserably in terms of efficiency, with energy surveyors awarding it a rank of 0 out of 10. Heat simply races out between cracks in the walls, the tall glass windows and roof, because the building emerged some time before LEED certification.

But to the important matter, why’s the Queen behaving like Antoinette in the 21st century? What’s frightening is how willing the government was to transfer poverty fund money from projects to serve primary schools, public housing, etc., except that it could lead to “adverse publicity.”

With that said, the British royalty can at least look forward to warmer falls and winters ahead, though it still won’t figure out how to restore confidence with the people in government, or how to excise the UK from its bloated financial troubles.

Perhaps the perfect solution would be to move the Queen out of the gilded stone cave and hand out all her furs to people sleeping on the streets, squatting in warehouses, and move her in with Kirsten Gillibrand, the hottest member of the Senate.

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