4 Onion Headlines That Actually Came True

What should we believe in when the Onion’s headlines actually come true?

Watching the first ever episode of Saturday Night Live, I saw one of their famous joke-ads for a triple-bladed razor. Listening to the voice over make two extra blades seem as crazy as selling boxes with pre-cut holes made me a little embarrassed about the quatro chilling in my shower.

With SNL predicting products of the future, and these four Onion headlines proving to be more fact then fiction, it can make you wonder  what will be on the shelves of  Walmart in 2025. Pepto Bismol Ice?

Blagojevich Just Getting Started, January 4th 2009

After trying to sell Obama’s Senate seat, the Illinois governor went on to star on The Celebrity Apprentice, made six figures with his memoir Governor, and, most importantly, watched a musical extravaganza chronicling his life -Rod Blagojevich, Superstar.

New Dad Thinks Baby Might Be Gay, June 29th 2005

In this case The Onion is a little behind the times. Nonfiction author Frank Conroy had written about this very predicament in his memoir Stop-Time in 1967 “He [his father] spent an anxious few weeks convinced that I was fated to become a homosexual. I was six months old.” So America’s finest news source was stealing the strife of a dead man.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary Laptop With No Keyboard, January 5, 2009

With or without mockery I fully believe the ipod wheel driven imac will be a reality some day. Until then, keyboard-less laptops have been in the works since 2007, created for people with disabilities that make working a keyboard difficult. These systems utilize wii-like technology; the user tips and tilts the computer to navigate from page to page.

New Candy  to Hum and Glow in Mouths, December 10, 1996

Though candy manufactures haven’t rolled out humming candy just yet, glowing candies abound. It’s ok Onion. In ’96 we didn’t see  bacon chocolate bars coming either.