Did John Podesta attend a Satanic sex dinner at Marina Abramovic’s house?

It’s long been rumored in far-right circles that Hillary Clinton and her cabal of advisors are child-eating witches who draw their powers from Satan himself at their weekly Illuminati meetings. (If only.) Now the conservative press has “proof” of that in the form of a leaked email.

As dutifully reported The Washington Times, Drudge Report, et. al., Wikileaks’ cache of campaign chairman John Podesta’s emails contains the following invitation from well-known sorceress Marina Abramovic to a “spirit cooking” dinner at her Manhattan lair, forwarded to him by his brother Tony:

From: Marina Abramovic <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>
Date: June 28, 2015 at 2:35:08 AM GMT+2
To: Tony Podesta <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>
Subject: Dinner

Dear Tony,

I am so looking forward to the Spirit Cooking dinner at my place. Do you think you will be able to let me know if your brother is joining?

All my love, Marina

As the conservative blogosphere quickly discovered, “spirit cooking” is not baking brownies to drum up enthusiasm for your daughter’s soccer team, but something to do with woman-juice and blood rituals.

From a 1997 YouTube video, Drudge drudged up depraved recipes like “FRESH MORNING URINE – SPRINKLE OVER NIGHTMARE DREAMS,” “MIX FRESH BREAST MILK WITH FRESH SPERM MILK ON EARTHQUAKE NIGHTS” and my personal favorite, “WITH A SHARP KNIFE CUT DEEPLY INTO THE MIDDLE FINGER OF YOUR LEFT HAND. EAT THE PAIN.” Yum!

eat-the-pain

Unfortunately for Podesta’s image among occultists, of course, these recipes were intended purely as conceptual art by Abramovic, one of the world’s most overrated sellouts. The freakiest thing at that dinner was Lady Gaga’s outfit, the most painful thing was Abramovic’s cult of personality, and the gnarliest thing on the menu was foie gras.

But even if all the blood-letting and dick-milking were real, the email’s scariest revelation would be this: All those rich motherfuckers know each other.

[h/t Washington Times | photo: iStock]