A bunch of dang nerds are naming their kids Kylo

The Social Security Administration released their yearly data on the most popular baby names on Friday and a whole bunch of nerds are naming their kids Kylo, you know, the bad guy from “Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens” who murders his father. Please stop doing this to your children.

According to the LA Times, no other boy’s name has seen as big of a boost in popularity since 2015 than Kylo. 2015, in case it wasn’t obvious, is the year “Episode VII” was forced upon us, and despite there being way more memorable and enjoyable characters with equally silly names like Finn and Poe, for some reason Kylo is the name that’s sticking for boys.

To be perfectly clear, it’s not like there’s an epidemic of Kylo-naming going on. Only 238 Social Security card applications featured a person with the name Kylo in 2016, so it’s not like you’re gonna be running into them left and right. Still, 238 is enough to plant the name firmly in the top-1000. That’s also 238 more people with the name Kylo than there really should be, assuming they’re being named after the Adam Driver character.

I know “Star Wars” is kind of a big deal, but naming your kid after the angsty Hot Topic bad guy from the 7th movie in a wildly inconsistent series is just asking for trouble. I know it’s firmly established that liking “Star Wars” — one of the most successful franchises in film history — makes you a normal person and not a nerd, but that’s not gonna stop kids from being assholes to anyone whose parents slapped them with a “Star Wars” name. It was bad enough for the kids I knew growing up who happened to be named Luke, a perfectly normal human name.

These little Kylos are also in for years of explaining to teachers, camp counselors, prospective friends, and eventually bosses that no, their name is not Kyle. Perhaps they’ll grow up tough, like the protagonist of the Johnny Cash classic “A Boy Named Sue.”

More likely they’ll just become whiny teenagers, mimicking their namesake at his most insufferable.

[LA Times | Screengrab: Lucasfilm]