Do you want to know how to get really fat?
When fast-food chains began dismissing the bun as superfluous, opting to put sandwich meat between two pieces of other meat, a collective shudder was not felt across our country. In fact, we rewarded KFC’s innovation by purchasing copious amounts of KFC Double Downs, which is a bacon-cheese sandwich slapped between two pieces of fried chicken.
Dunkin’ Donuts, the most proactively unhealthy, delicious fast-food chain on earth, has outdone itself again. After experimenting with “health” items such as egg whites on flatbread, the company this week introduced Sausage Pancake Bites—a small piece of sausage wrapped in a pancake exterior pre-drenched in maple syrup. Each single bite has 100 calories, 7 grams of fat and 8 grams of carbohydrates.
The murder balls are sold in denominations of three and six. Purchasing a six pack means you can consume over 25% of your daily caloric, fat and carbohydrate intakes in under 30 seconds. Two six packs will put you in the time-out chair. Four six packs could stamp out the life of a puppy.
Dunkin’ Donuts has decided to make the offering limited-time only, in case you’re looking to bulk up for holidays. This was shrewd, potentially setting the Sausage Pancake Bites up for legendary status, a la the McRib.
