‘Cowboys & Aliens’ Is Not Funny

Since when does the plot idea of “Unforgiven” meets “Alien,” which includes Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford, result in anything other than something certified badass?

Roughly two weeks ago, Universal Studios packaged the trailer for their $100 million summer blockbuster “Cowboys & Aliens” with “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1.” Since its release, the trailer has been garnering a huge response from movie-going public — laughter.

“Everybody was cracking up,” said Jenna Robbins, a lab worker at the University of California, Los Angeles, who caught the “Cowboys & Aliens” trailer debut at the AMC Santa Monica 7 theater while waiting for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1.”

In today’s New York Times, Michael Cieply wrote about audience’s interesting reaction to the upcoming film. However Cieply failed to mention the irony in Harry Potter fans finding the idea of cowboys fighting aliens as too far fetched.

Nevertheless studio executives are the few that aren’t laughing. Director Jon Favreau (“Iron Man,” “Elf”) told fans at Comic-Con that we wanted to create a true Western in the vein of John Wayne or Clint Eastwood, crossed with the horror and suspense of “Alien” or “Predator.”

Audiences are reacting like Favreau created a film similar to “Alien vs. Predator” and in the vein of “Snakes on a Plane.” What hurts the film is that today’s audiences are conditioned to read a title like “Cowboys & Aliens” and assume, fun action with little substance.

It’s understandable for audiences to read the title and laugh, but what’s inexplicable is why they laughed after watching the trailer. There’s nothing really funny about it, in fact it’s gloomy, loud, and serious.

Lets break it down.

POSSIBLE REASON TO LAUGH: Daniel Craig
The best James Bond in decades has never had a humorous role in his entire career. In fact I’d find it hard to believe he’s ever laughed, cried or showed any emotion except calculated anger. It’s not manly.
CONCLUSION: Guaranteed Unfunny

POSSIBLE REASON TO LAUGH: Harrison Ford
As evidenced in his recent late night appearances to promote his most recent chick-flick, “Morning Glory,” he still thinks he’s the coolest man alive. He’s a delusional, old and bitter man who only cares about a paycheck. The only thing funny about Ford is his recent pathetic choices in film roles, considering he hasn’t appeared in a good film in about 10 years. Hopefully “Cowboys & Aliens” is different.
CONCLUSION: Unfunny unless he befriends a Wookie.

POSSIBLE REASON TO LAUGH: Olivia Wilde
Hollywood’s most recent attempt at transforming a pretty face into a leading lady. She’ll be appearing in “Tron” this month. She seems to have a little more substance than Megan Fox, not that anyone cares. Her most noteworthy role includes being Marisa Cooper’s lesbian girlfriend on “The O.C.”
CONCLUSION: Probably Not Funny

POSSIBLE REASON TO LAUGH: Death By Laserbeams
Lasers have been one of the scariest and most useful tools in the Sci-Fi genre, because we don’t understand their limitless power. All we know is they destroyed everything cool in America during the film “Independence Day.”
CONCLUSION: Unless it’s happening in “Space Balls” or “Austin Powers” it’s totally not funny. Lasers are powerful and scary.

POSSIBLE REASON TO LAUGH: Wild West
The Western is one of these most revered cinematic genres. The Wild West is home to icons like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. So unless Will Smith makes a cameo appearance, Biff Tannen is the film’s hero, or the film is one giant homage to “Blazing Saddles,” it’s probably not going to be funny.
CONCLUSION: Only if the aliens turn out to be giant spiders.