Kim Jong-Un’s Birthday Train Derailed

A cargo train packed with birthday swag for Kim Jong-Un was sabotaged earlier this month, reports Open Radio for North Korea. Eight cars were purposefully derailed somewhere between Sinuiju, a port city on the Chinese border, and Pyongang.

The September announcement that “Young General” Kim Jong-Un will succeed his wilting father Kim Jong-Il inspired a rash of dissonance in the form of anti-Kim Jong-Un graffiti and underground satirical cartoons mocking the family, reported Open Radio for North Korea. What an apt metaphor a derailed train of royal birthday spoils must be for oppressed North Koreans.

And for the rest of the world, too. South Korea’s ongoing military drills, inspired by November 23rd’s artillery attack on Yeonpyeong, caused Kim Jong-Il’s top military officer to threaten a “sacred war of justice, Korean-style,” if they continue.

The train that is the Kim family’s tyranny appears to be on the verge of a wreck a la “The Fugitive.” “The damage of the section of the railway this time was so huge that it appears that somebody intentionally caused it at the time when the train passed by,” the source said.

It’s not surprising that North Koreans are restless. It’s probably particularly annoying that Kim Jong-Il’s prohibition of free trade and Western cultural influences apparently doesn’t apply to his sons. One WikiLeaks cable featured a request from a North Korean official that the U.S. arrange an Eric Clapton concert for Kim Jong Il’s second son Kim Jong Chol, who is a “great fan.” The train for Kim Jong-Un’s birthday bash was reportedly filled with luxury goods including watches and televisions, though hopefully no British guitar legends.

It’s tough to know details about the wreck because North Korea’s press is on a strictly closed circuit. But surely the wrecked train cars spilling over with televisions, watches and luxury goods provide an interesting spectacle for Kim Jong-Il to look at.